Import My Heart! - A celebrity dating show starring YOU!

[shadowglitter]

Hey, MoM! Gero here. As you might remember, back in November, Odin (as well as eight other competitors) starred in a reality TV show that aired across all of America called Big Brother 3000 - the long and short of it, for those who didn't follow the drama or who might not have been here for it, was that a handful of imports were launched into space, locked together in a shuttle for three weeks, and drank deep from the well of trashy reality television tropes. People got drunk, talked about dongs, and were attacked by an unmanned drone that maybe belonged to Russia but also maybe belonged to aliens or something. We don't know yet? Standard reality TV fare, in any case.

A few days ago, the mods hit me up to say that Odin was the winner of the show! He'll be bragging about that and drinking in all the new-found fame that comes with the title for a while. True fans of the show might have seen what happened at the end of the first week - Odin confessed he was in love with another contestant, only to be pretty brutally turned down - and, well. The prize he's been given for winning BB3K is a pre-approved plot called Import My Heart!, a spin-off reality program based on The Bachelor, following Odin on his journey to find that one special someone amongst any number of imports. I was told I could either handwave it or run it as an event, and, uh, SPOILERS, I'M RUNNING IT AS AN EVENT.

So, what does this mean for you?

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO FIND TRUE LOVE WITH A WIZARD THAT CAN DO BACKFLIPS? NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

During most of the month of February, a chosen number of Imports will be whisked away to a private island to live together in their own secluded mansion. Throughout the event, they'll be having parties, going on dates with Odin, getting involved in a number of very stupid challenges (and given that Odin will be setting them, many of them will involve swords, fire, volcanoes or death,) and just generally having a lot of very fun and silly things to do.

It'll be an opportunity to make friends, become a household name amongst imports and natives alike, and yes, fall in love. Hopefully with Odin. Maybe with each other? He would not be surprised.

At the end of the day, it's trashy reality TV. Import My Heart! is going to feature all the typical tropes you might expect. Could a shocking secret about your character be revealed on national television? Could a tragic betrayal mark the end of your character's relationship with another's FOREVER? LOVE TRIANGLES? MURDER? Who knows. Point is, if you just want to spend a month doing messy, messy slice of life garbage, this event is for you.

Oh, and don't forget the prizes - every competition show has to have prizes. You might even get something just for auditioning. And hey... even if you don't win Odin's heart, maybe there'll be a second season, and you'll get to build a harem of your own. Who can say?

But wait! How do I get involved?

Potential contestants only have to do one thing to audition - record a short video that introduces themselves while answering a few questions Odin's posed for them.

I don't have a strict limit on contestants, right now, because I want to gauge how much interest in this event there might be, but I'm not looking for a huge number of people! We'll see how it goes. The only requirement to apply is that your character must be eighteen years of age or older, but that's all that matters.

You don't even have to apply to find love, honestly. Want to have a national platform to yell about how terrible the government is until you're escorted away? Want to use your screentime to propel your career as a budding singer/model/actor??? Want to get on the show just to punch Odin in the gut and laugh????? Now is your time to shine.

Just remember: Odin totally wants to fall in love. Or, well, at the very least, he probably doesn't want to get his heart to get broken on national TV. Again. For a second time. Probably.

Odin is the worst and I don't want to be a contestant but I still want to be on the show!

THIS IS ALSO FINE? There will be at least one event in which ImPorts from home can get involved (assuming I can, uh, think of something fun), so if you're interested in that, let me know. And, uh, if you just want to work as a cameraman or something so you can be close to the drama, Odin's not gonna say no. It's his show? The network can eat it.



I'll post a form in the comments for characters who might be interested in auditioning! Otherwise, if you have any questions or suggestions, hit me up here, send me a PM or find me at southpaws. Thanks!

Comments

[shadowglitter]

If you're considering your character for the show, reply to this comment with the form below! THIS ISN'T A NECESSARY STEP - I'm just trying to get a head count on potential interest.

<b>PLAYER NAME</b>: <b>CHARACTER NAME</b>: <b>CHARACTER AGE</b>:

Actual audition tapes for the show will need to be submitted over HERE, so make sure you reply with your entry some time before February. Anyone who does an audition tape will get a MYSTERY PRIZE that Odin either buys with the $10,000 he won from Big Brother or else makes himself. An IC post about this event will go up on the network soon, and contestants on the show will be announced in the first week of February!

[shadowglitter]

[ For a good thirty minutes, all that's on screen... is this. ]

lj-cut bluh bluh what could this be??

[ After thirty minutes, the title image fades. Odin sits in darkness on a throne made of skulls, each skull more diamond-encrusted than the last. There's a man to the left of him and a woman to the right, both of them in crisp, black suits, wearing porcelain rabbit masks that firmly cover both their faces. Roses - blue, like the sky - are in full bloom on the ground beneath him. He leans forward, extending a hand to the camera. Flakes of gold fall all around him. ]

Life's been hard for you, hasn't it?

A winding, thorny path riddled with pain and darkness. How many graves have your calloused hands touched? A lot, probably. Like, at least a dozen. They're not even graves for people, these graves. No. They're graves for dreams. Your dreams. Because - your dreams have died, haven't they? I bet they have. Mine sure have. I fell in love, and I got super burned. That feeling? Oh man. Like an inferno. From hell. Made of feelings. Have your feelings ever been an inferno from hell? Well, mine have. And it sucks. My calloused hands have touched a lot of dream-graves, and that is a very sad thing, and my love life is a poisonous and angry snake that coils around my face and bites it. Everything is suffering.

But there's no time for tears. Crying is for babies and losers without the strength of a raging lion battling the strength of a raging dragon in the depths of their strong and raging hearts. Like yours. You've got a heart like that. And, hey. That heart? I want to feel it. I want to feel that heart, with my heart, and I want our hearts to be in love. That's what this moment is about. You and me. Two hearts. Four monsters within them, fighting in a cool and great way. That's us. Are you ready? To fall in love? With passionate feelings? Our fiery inferno hell lives will become fiery inferno lives of passion, instead.

If you're looking for the man of your dreams... this is where it all begins.

[ the logo takes over the screen again, and when it fades, the scene's changed. odin's just sitting in his bedroom in sweats and a tshirt, waving at the camera, no skulls or roses or rabbit attendants in sight. well, minimal skulls. there's at least one in the background, but that's just for decoration. because he likes skulls. ]

Hey! Hi. Some of you might remember me from Big Brother 3000, which was that reality show where me and a bunch of my friends went up to space and got drunk and then shot at. Well, guess what, nerds? I won that whole thing, apparently. My prize was a second TV show just for me! It's a love show. About dating? It's a love show about dating. I'm a hot and single bachelor ready to meet other hot and single people. I am on the path to find true love, and I think I might be able to find it... with you. I want you to be my sun, my moon, my stars. The ocean beneath my frail and sinking sailboat. The warmth and the comfort I've yet to find, even though it's all I've ever wanted.

Import My Heart!

Auditions to be on the show open today, so, you know, get in fast. [ finger guns. ] Hit me up about whatever, dawgs!

[ ooc: so hey! Odin won the Big Brother 3000 mod plot that went up back in November, and his prize is apparently a bachelor-style reality show spin off starring him as the bachelor. if you want to be on the show or find out more about it, check out this post. get your auditions in OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111 ]

[shadowglitter]

[ So, you wanna be on TV? This is where it starts. A pre-recorded message of Odin plays, him just waving excitedly in his bedroom, dressed relatively casually other than the cape and the crown he's adorned himself with. ]

Hey! So, you wanna be in love. That's cool. I get it. Me too! That's what we're all here for, right? Well, maybe not. Maybe you're here for money and attention. That's fine. I'm here for love, at least. True love. Eternal forever soulmate Level 999 Hyperblast Megabeam Ultra Maximum Dinosaur Death Gorenado Mk. III-Style True Love. Hopefully with you? Hopefully with you.

If you wanna be on my show, submit your audition tapes here. This is where your videos go! Tell me a bit about yourself. Try and make yourself sound cooler than you are, and maybe do something sweet like punch a car or do a flip. Or not. I don't care. Do it, though. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE.

And then - answer my questions! As many or as few as you want. I don't care. Live your life.

One: Why do you want to be on Import My Heart?
Two: How much experience have you had with love?
Three: If you were a weapon, what weapon would you be, and what level of enchanted and/or cursed?
Four: Oh no! A horrible evil is threatening to eviscerate your world. What role do you play in this story?
Five: Say something nice about me, please. Wait, that's not a question, hold on. What's something nice that you could say about me? Haha, nailed it.

That's it. Hit me up. Go. Wait! Final note. Um.

Signing on means you're okay with physical violence and swords and potentially death. Heads up! Haha. OKAY, GO.