shadowglitter | PSL || poe/odin

WAY TO REJECT ME YOU FLIGHTY AIRBORN PIECE OF SHIT! WAY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR ME AND MY HEART, FOREVER AND EVER, ALWAYS UNTIL FOREVER

HEY YO YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE A LIST SO GUESS WHAT!!!!!! IT'S TIME FOR US TO GET FUNKY AS FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK

god i am not going to bother formatting this

TO DO LIST:
1. SEXTING FROM BOOT CAMP ringverse AU
2. prince/concubine AU - owain's the prince, poe's a concubine to the king, paranoia and political assassination ensues, etc etc etc etc etc
3. vampire hooker AU?? owain gonna get his gothic goth goth dick wet in that spooky vampire butt
4. HAHA BOOM WE'RE DOING IT I LINKED THE POST DOWN THERE
5. enemies of war AU - owain's a good guy on the bad guy side who almost loses his life trying to save poe even though he's an enemy soldier, poes like What, Shit, Damn, gay shit ensues
6. HNENENGH
7. ANGELS AND DEMONSSSSSSsss
8. 20s AU///?? YES. YES ALRIGHT
9. WW1 AU WHATS Up
10. ?? there was something that was supposed to go here from the kink meme
11. samurai champloo AU what up. chon'sin. Shit
12. bBODYSWAPPpappapp

long-term AU posts:

⚔⛉☆ PLEDGED

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Owain looks at the chocolate milk, and then at Poe, and then back to the chocolate milk. That is absolutely not what he was asking for. On the other hand, Poe's giving him something, and Owain's so desperate for anything from Poe that he takes it and starts to drink, spiky resentment towards himself clawing at his chest. Whatever.

He sets it down on the side table, wincing, again, at the strain of his muscles, and hunches back against the headboard. He watches Poe with heavy, lidded eyes, guilt eating away at him more than ever. He's done too much wrong. Poe would be better off without him.

The demand makes him flinch and go quiet.

"I... just..."

He's so much smaller in his tears than he ever has been before, when they came from a place of happiness or when they came from. He tries to keep his face steady, to hold some semblance of dignity despite him having none, blinking rapidly and scrubbing his hands over his bruised and tender eyes to make the crying stop.

"I just-- want-- you," he says, and it's childish, it's pathetic, but it's true. "I just want you. Some part of you. That belongs to me. Something. Anything, that I know is mine, that I know will stay mine, that I can-- just-- have. It's just-- you."

"You already do," He says, but he knows that it's a useless argument. What good is a piece of a heart denied? His face was creased with concern and hurt and guilt and he reached out, leaning in so that he could put a warm, steadying hand on the side of Owain's neck.

"You already- you already have a piece of me, Owain, that's not- that was never really... a question. I just--"

Just had to put it aside.

He couldn't say that outloud. Certainly not like this.

"I don't know how to prove that to you."

"That piece of you can't be worth very much, if you let it go," Owain says, slow, careful to keep any perceivable anger out of his voice - because he doesn't have any, not really, he's just sad and he's fucked up and he's worthless and Poe's only ever proven that to him. He's too drunk to tamper those feelings.

"The thought of even-- attempting to let go of you, or to stop hoping for you, is like a knife in my chest. And you just... did it. It was just-- something you could do. Even if you didn't stop... loving me, you've stopped wanting to be with me, if-- if you ever even did-- because I'm not as important as him, and I'm not as important as you are to me, I'm not-- I'm not shit."

His eyes draw closed, and he leans into Poe's hand like he's never even been comforted before, absorbing all that warmth and all that steadiness and just relaxing, despite everything. Even just this - just Poe's hand on his - is enough to ease the ache in him, however briefly.

He knows what he wants. He wants a thousand things, each of them too terrible to ask for, and he knows he wouldn't be able to stop himself from asking for things he shouldn't ask for. Knows that if this goes any further, he won't know what he'll do.

Edited 2018-01-20 02:13 (UTC)

The breath that left him was far more like a sigh- long and drawn out as if he was simply letting all the air escape his lungs. He leaned down, still holding Owain's neck, but then pressing his head against the other man's, leaning into his hair. He breathed deep, closing his eyes and trying to ignore how fucking badly everything hurt.

Like all of his worst fears about both the situation and himself were all true.

"I'm sorry, Owain," he murmured lowly and forelornly into the other man's hair. "... I don't know how I could have let you believe any of that... You-- you are so much more..."

PSL || poe/odin

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