PSL || poe/odin

[shadowglitter]

WAY TO REJECT ME YOU FLIGHTY AIRBORN PIECE OF SHIT! WAY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR ME AND MY HEART, FOREVER AND EVER, ALWAYS UNTIL FOREVER



HEY YO YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE A LIST SO GUESS WHAT!!!!!! IT'S TIME FOR US TO GET FUNKY AS FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK

god i am not going to bother formatting this

TO DO LIST:
1. SEXTING FROM BOOT CAMP ringverse AU
2. prince/concubine AU - owain's the prince, poe's a concubine to the king, paranoia and political assassination ensues, etc etc etc etc etc
3. vampire hooker AU?? owain gonna get his gothic goth goth dick wet in that spooky vampire butt
4. HAHA BOOM WE'RE DOING IT I LINKED THE POST DOWN THERE
5. enemies of war AU - owain's a good guy on the bad guy side who almost loses his life trying to save poe even though he's an enemy soldier, poes like What, Shit, Damn, gay shit ensues
6. HNENENGH
7. ANGELS AND DEMONSSSSSSsss
8. 20s AU///?? YES. YES ALRIGHT
9. WW1 AU WHATS Up
10. ?? there was something that was supposed to go here from the kink meme
11. samurai champloo AU what up. chon'sin. Shit
12. bBODYSWAPPpappapp


long-term AU posts:

⚔⛉☆ PLEDGED

Comments

[shadowglitter]

Survivor's guilt is a fucking monster of a thing, but for a long time, Owain was able to combat it. He could promise himself, and anyone who listened, that he would save the world time and time again, as many times as it would take. Living on for the memory of those left behind and for those still to come. For the people he promised his safety to. But it's been too hard, doing everything that had to be done and then just ending with peace he has no part in. Nohr doesn't need him. Ylisse doesn't need him. He thought for sure, that America wouldn't need him, but this-- this graveyard--

This graveyard is a part of him. This world is where he came from, it's what he bled for and fought for and it's where he should have died when he was just fourteen years old and ready for it. In another timeline, he saved everyone who lived here, but it wasn't-- them. The mother he saved in the other Ylisse isn't his mother, whose grave he stands beside - the father whose shoulder he cried on wasn't the same man who bled and crumbled with his hands clawing at his son as he told him to run. And they should have been. He should have saved them, and he didn't, so he should die with them, like he deserves.

This world is a part of him.

But it isn't a part of Poe.

The thought that Poe would stay here by his side, despite everything, despite what that might mean, ruins every good part of him that still beats. He breaks out in a sob that's more of a wail, hands shaking like earthquakes, his whole body a tremor wracked with sorrow. All he's ever wanted was to be with someone who would give anything for him - that he could give anything for - and now he has that and he's so, so, so, so close to throwing it away just because he thinks he doesn't deserve it.

The tremors get worse, and-- he cries.

He cries for a long time. A long, long time. Half an hour, maybe more. It starts in loud, violent sobs that almost drag Poe to the ground, Owain throwing himself with what little strength he has against him, knocking the pilot back to have a grave against his spine as Owain just fucking loses it in his arms. He screams into Poe's chest for all the years he's lost, for all the sins he's committed, all the people who needed him that he could have done so much more for but didn't. He screams, and he screams, and he screams, and he screams, until-- finally-- he chokes out a fragile, dragging hiccup, an eternity later, falling as silent as the rest of the world around him. Frayed, empty. Lungs raw with energy and too much use. Every part of him drained all but dry.

And then he stays quiet, for a while. Just needing to be held, not to talk. Curled in on himself with grief and with guilt and - for the first time in so, so long - with a spark to stay alive. If Poe lets him, Owain will be the first to break the silence that falls between them, raspy and quiet.

"I--"

It feels like a betrayal, saying this. He can't look at Poe when he does, hiding against him.

"I'm not ready to die," he confesses, like that's the most fucked up, awful, disgusting thing for him to say. But he can't say more than that, not here, not in the shadow of his parents. He wants America, he wants home, he wants Poe, he wants Poe, he wants Poe.