Import My Heart! - AUDITION SUBMISSIONS

[shadowglitter]

[ So, you wanna be on TV? This is where it starts. A pre-recorded message of Odin plays, him just waving excitedly in his bedroom, dressed relatively casually other than the cape and the crown he's adorned himself with. ]

Hey! So, you wanna be in love. That's cool. I get it. Me too! That's what we're all here for, right? Well, maybe not. Maybe you're here for money and attention. That's fine. I'm here for love, at least. True love. Eternal forever soulmate Level 999 Hyperblast Megabeam Ultra Maximum Dinosaur Death Gorenado Mk. III-Style True Love. Hopefully with you? Hopefully with you.

If you wanna be on my show, submit your audition tapes here. This is where your videos go! Tell me a bit about yourself. Try and make yourself sound cooler than you are, and maybe do something sweet like punch a car or do a flip. Or not. I don't care. Do it, though. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE.

And then - answer my questions! As many or as few as you want. I don't care. Live your life.

One: Why do you want to be on Import My Heart?
Two: How much experience have you had with love?
Three: If you were a weapon, what weapon would you be, and what level of enchanted and/or cursed?
Four: Oh no! A horrible evil is threatening to eviscerate your world. What role do you play in this story?
Five: Say something nice about me, please. Wait, that's not a question, hold on. What's something nice that you could say about me? Haha, nailed it.

That's it. Hit me up. Go. Wait! Final note. Um.

Signing on means you're okay with physical violence and swords and potentially death. Heads up! Haha. OKAY, GO.

Comments

[holisticallydetecting]

[Dirk is sitting on the edge of a chair with far too much barely-restrained energy, hands in his lap and bouncing a little as he grins from ear to fucking ear. He also has somehow managed to find a bright red leather jacket much like his yellow one.]

Hhhiiiiiii~~ [He waves, excitedly.]

This is very neat, Owain, getting a television show and then so many people to like you. You're going to have so many friends and maybe they will even be nice?? Though I am not sure that having me on is a good idea, if you want to limit the amount of death, in general. Not that I would kill anyone, but that people just tend to die, when I'm around? But who knows, maybe that's why you asked me, because it will turn out to be a show about murder mysteries instead of dating, anyway, or even better -- both?? Finding romance on a case is way more interesting than just normally. Not that I would know, exactly, but I did find my best friend on a case and he's perfect so that probably counts as something.

Oh, right, questions. Okay! Here we go!

One. Why do I want to be-- oh, right, yes. Well it's not a case of want to be, exactly. You asked me to come and it sounds fun. Either I will be there, or I won't be there, and either way it will be because I'm supposed to be there, so it'll all work out fine.

Two. Well. Quite a lot, actually? Not of mine, exactly, but it does tend to come up in cases a lot. People are very good at loving each other, or, not loving each other, or, loving the wrong person while that person sort of loves them but also loves someone else, or, loving themselves from a different dimension, or, loving someone who turns out to be a horse that faked its death. So. Lots of love. Everywhere. All the time.

No one's ever loved me, though. But that's okay. I have friends now!! That's pretty close!

Three. I wouldn't be a weapon. If I was a weapon, I wouldn't be me? I want to help people, not hurt them. Everyone gets hurt enough already.

Four. I'm the detective? Obviously. I would solve the mystery and bring their dastardly deeds to light and everyone would say what a great detective I am?

Five. You're very nice, Owain. I'm sorry I thought you were scary when you tried to blow me up. I mean. You are scary, but you're also very nice.