Import My Heart! - AUDITION SUBMISSIONS

[shadowglitter]

[ So, you wanna be on TV? This is where it starts. A pre-recorded message of Odin plays, him just waving excitedly in his bedroom, dressed relatively casually other than the cape and the crown he's adorned himself with. ]

Hey! So, you wanna be in love. That's cool. I get it. Me too! That's what we're all here for, right? Well, maybe not. Maybe you're here for money and attention. That's fine. I'm here for love, at least. True love. Eternal forever soulmate Level 999 Hyperblast Megabeam Ultra Maximum Dinosaur Death Gorenado Mk. III-Style True Love. Hopefully with you? Hopefully with you.

If you wanna be on my show, submit your audition tapes here. This is where your videos go! Tell me a bit about yourself. Try and make yourself sound cooler than you are, and maybe do something sweet like punch a car or do a flip. Or not. I don't care. Do it, though. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE.

And then - answer my questions! As many or as few as you want. I don't care. Live your life.

One: Why do you want to be on Import My Heart?
Two: How much experience have you had with love?
Three: If you were a weapon, what weapon would you be, and what level of enchanted and/or cursed?
Four: Oh no! A horrible evil is threatening to eviscerate your world. What role do you play in this story?
Five: Say something nice about me, please. Wait, that's not a question, hold on. What's something nice that you could say about me? Haha, nailed it.

That's it. Hit me up. Go. Wait! Final note. Um.

Signing on means you're okay with physical violence and swords and potentially death. Heads up! Haha. OKAY, GO.

Comments

[itistolaugh]

[ Harley waves back at the video, as if she forgot it's pre-recorded and this is a realtime conversation. Because she did forget. That is exactly what happened. ]

Hi, it's me, Harley! I like your crown! You sure asked a lot of questions at once. I had to write them down so I don't skip any.

Okay so one, I want to be on Import My Heart because it's a TV show and I love attention. Like, straight up, I'm not gonna lie, that's a huge factor. But also it's a chance to get to know you better, and that sounds fun. Also an alternate universe version of one of my exes just ported in and he's a two-inch tall Lego that never loved me, so I'm in kind of a weird place right now? And the answer to that is run away to party island where the problems don't exist.

My experience with love is ... I mean. We've talked about this. I have a lot of experience. I've been told to tone it way down but, like, everybody I know and also a lot of strangers. Not everyone would say it's good experience, but I don't regret it.

This one is the hardest. If I were a weapon, I would be, uhhh. Gosh! There are so many choices? I like them all! I mean, guns are pretty great, but I think I'm just more of a blunt force kinda gal? But even narrowing it down that much, there are so many hammers. And I've been really into baseball bats lately. I think ultimately I'd have to stick with the classics and be a giant, massive, wooden mallet with a custom paint job.

Four, uh, I dunno! I probably know the horrible evil! We might have dated. Yeah, we probably used to date. That's pretty on-trend for me.

This last one is easy peasy! Okay so first, you're handsome. Obvious, everyone's already said it, I know. And you're really funny, and you have lots of energy, and you're easy to talk to, and you aren't scared of hyenas, and Lou likes you already, and we haven't known each other very long but I just like being around you? It's comfortable and nice. We should hang out more even if it's not on a dating show.

Okay, that's it! Good luck on your true love casting call!