shadowglitter | PSL || poe/odin

PSL || poe/odin

WAY TO REJECT ME YOU FLIGHTY AIRBORN PIECE OF SHIT! WAY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP FOR ME AND MY HEART, FOREVER AND EVER, ALWAYS UNTIL FOREVER

HEY YO YOU TOLD ME TO WRITE A LIST SO GUESS WHAT!!!!!! IT'S TIME FOR US TO GET FUNKY AS FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK

god i am not going to bother formatting this

TO DO LIST:
1. SEXTING FROM BOOT CAMP ringverse AU
2. prince/concubine AU - owain's the prince, poe's a concubine to the king, paranoia and political assassination ensues, etc etc etc etc etc
3. vampire hooker AU?? owain gonna get his gothic goth goth dick wet in that spooky vampire butt
4. HAHA BOOM WE'RE DOING IT I LINKED THE POST DOWN THERE
5. enemies of war AU - owain's a good guy on the bad guy side who almost loses his life trying to save poe even though he's an enemy soldier, poes like What, Shit, Damn, gay shit ensues
6. HNENENGH
7. ANGELS AND DEMONSSSSSSsss
8. 20s AU///?? YES. YES ALRIGHT
9. WW1 AU WHATS Up
10. ?? there was something that was supposed to go here from the kink meme
11. samurai champloo AU what up. chon'sin. Shit
12. bBODYSWAPPpappapp

long-term AU posts:

⚔⛉☆ PLEDGED

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What?

[It hadn't really been a conscious decision to wear it, so much as a lack of a decision not to wear it. He looked down, though the angle made it hard to see, and raised a hand to his throat.

Oh. Oh.

He looked up again and gives Owain a sheepish smile.]

Yeah that's not.... It. At all.

It was my mom's, Owain. I've had it for years. I'm not -- its not what you're thinking--

... Oh. Oh. Oh! H-Haha. Haha, oh my god. Okay.

[ Owain laughs, clear as a bell, until it dies in his throat as his cheeks start to redden. Fuck, how obvious was the relief that just crashed through him like a wave? Fuck, fuck, there's a balance here - they don't talk about things, they don't share how they feel, the last thing he can do is act like - like a shitty, shitty friend who values his own feelings rather than Poe being engaged -

But the realization of what this means hits him, suddenly, and Owain's grinning ear to ear. God, he's so fucking happy he could cry. He's so, so glad he was wrong. ]

I-I have mine. I have my mom's. I have-- I have it too. Her ring. Her ring! I brought it with me, when I-- when I had to find her again. It was proof that I was her son, and I've been keeping it for-- for-- for ages. So I could-- it doesn't matter. I had no idea you-- I had no idea.

[ Rambling. He's excited. ]

You do?

[He looks a little surprised, at that, and his skin is darkening slowly by degrees, because he hadn't been thinking about that, before. Hadn't realised Odin had never actually seen it. Because of course he hadn't. Poe had always taken it off, to come here--]

I-- yeah. She left it to me. My dad couldn't bear it. I didn't realise that you-

Can I see it?

Yeah. Yeah! Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Hold on.

[ God, he's so fucking relieved. He bounces off the bed and pulls out a wooden lockbox from underneath it. There's a number lock mechanism, still made of wood, that he has to click and turn into place, and he doesn't bother hiding the password from Poe as he cracks it, 'cause he trusts him. 0306, his mom's birthday. He used to just wear her ring, when he was just Owain, hidden under his glove while he fought, but as Odin he's kept it hidden, always close by but never in sight, a habit he's yet to break out of even now as Poe pulls him further and further back into embracing so much of his old identity.

There's a tiny mahogany box padded with red velvet inside, amongst other fragments of keepsakes from home he had on him when he was ported, and it's something he built himself. He takes it out, opens it up, and there it is - Lissa's ring, a golden signet ring engraved with the words I swear to be with you and protect you for the rest of your days along the inside, the words his father said to her when he proposed.

He looks at it, fond and distant, before he snaps out of his reverie and gingerly hands it over to Poe. ]

Um - be careful with it.

Yeah, of course. [He takes it carefully, letting the weight of it sit in his palm, and doesn't really notice the way his own lips have turned into a wistful, fond smile.

It's smaller than his mom's, and he can't help but reach for the chain at his throat, undoing the clasp with one hand and pulling it out to compare them. His mom's has no engraving - it's solid and thick and was made in the middle of the war. Function. He rolls them both over in his hand so they gently clink against each other.]

...

It's pretty weird that I met you, Odin. [His voice is very quiet, and he still has that kind of wistful look on his face, before he finally managed to pry his eyes away and hold his hand out to Odin - both rings resting in it.]

Mom's isn't anything fancy, but.

[ Odin watches Poe, still quietly fond, as he examines his mom's ring. The smile that creeps up on his face doesn't vanish like it should.

This looks right, a part of him thinks. Poe with Lissa's ring. ]

Weird good or weird bad? [ He says it with a grin, like he's telling some kind of stupid joke that he and Poe are both in on, but there's weight behind that question. He feels like he's pushing against that boundary they've set up between them that keeps things light and platonic, by asking it, so he forges through it without waiting for an answer, taking the rings. He holds his breath like one wrong move might break the spell holding them together. ]

My mother was nobility. My father wasn't. He didn't have the money to buy her something laced with stones or dripping in diamonds, and they fell in love during the war against this prick we called The Mad King. It was hard, I think, for him to find a wedding ring he thought she deserved, after everything she did for him when they were ending up together.

But he wanted to get her the very best thing he could. So. [ He's quiet for a little too long, staring down at that ring, thoughts of his dad in his head. ] He spent all the money he had on this. He gave her his words and she wore them close to her skin. So much of my parents relationship was based around... protecting one another from the hurt in the world.

[ And that's all I want to do for the man I love, one day, he almost says. ]

Edited 2017-12-09 13:04 (UTC)

They sound a lot like my parents. [There's a very real fondness in his voice, and it's only half for his parent's memory. The other half is clearly for Odin.]

Well. Sort of. They weren't often allowed to fight together. But it still sounds similar.

[And he just kind of smiles, before murmuring lowly, far after the question had been asked and seemingly forgotten:]

... weird good.

Pretty sure it's weird good.

Why weren't they allowed to fight together? Or - sorry. You don't have to answer that? If you don't want to. Just... I'd like to hear more about them. Or something.

[ Odin catches the fondness, but he doesn't mention it. Just locks the memory away in the velvet box where he keeps Lissa's ring and the rest of the things that make him feel safe and loved and home.

He looks up, though, when Poe drops that last line, and he looks-- stunned, genuinely, like the pilot said something with far more impact than just the words weird good. It takes him a minute for him to gather his thoughts, scrambled as they are by just-- the sentimentality of the moment, and he ends up laughing nervously and playing with the rings in his hand. ]

It's weird good for me, too. I think about it a lot. I'm really, really, really really really lucky to know you. Sometimes when I'm in bed, I think-- I've traveled across time and space, navigated through the stars of countless worlds and galaxies, just to end up here with you. It's... I don't think I'll ever find a relationship that means more.

[ He-- wait. ]

I mean-- generally speaking. You and everyone else. I mean. You and everyone else. Are important to me. All the imports. Is what I meant. You're all special? I came to meet all of you. We all came to meet... each other.

[ he, uh. hands the rings back. there you go. buddy. platonic buddy. ]

She was a pilot, and he was ground infantry. They only fought together if she was pulled to fly his transport. But spent- a lot of time apart, not sure if either of them would love to see each other again.

[He takes the ring back, but as Odin talks, his eyes slide away, gazing down into his palm as he rolled the ring around upon it. The colour was also starting to rise in his face.]

...

[It shouldn't make him so damn, hearing that, but he can't help the warm glow that spreads through his chest despite himself.]

What do you think your parents would have done, if they ended up here?

[ Odin's happy for the question, as well as for the description of Poe's family - it serves as a good distraction, if nothing else. But he feels like - he feels like he's home, right now, and he can't tell if it's because he's talking about his parents or if it's because he's talking to Poe. ]

Dad...

Dad had-- a lot of issues, that he never really got help for. I don't think he would deal well with being a hero, admired by so many people. He's strong, and he's fiercely protective, but only of those he loves, you know? He'd probably want to go and live in the forest and just survive off of nature, but mom would want to live in the city to surround herself in all the light and the colour and he'd let her drag him along. They'd probably never leave me alone... if I were here, and if they knew who I was.

[ he trails off. they were owain's parents, after all, not odin's. ]

But - I think in the end, mom would want to be a hero and dad would go along with it to keep her safe. They'd probably get really famous as an amazing crimefighting duo that saved countless people by the end of their careers.

What about yours?

[He chuckles at the description, and he can see it. He remembers Lissa, still, and the description of her partner... It just fits, somehow, with the man that Odin is. He's managed to keep his face from colouring too obviously, and looks over at Odin when he asks the question. (The blush might be gone but the incredible fondness is anything but invisible.)]

Honestly? I don't know.

[He turns the ring over again and then raises it to his throat, clasping the chain back around it and letting the ring fall to hit his chest. It's never felt so right, wearing it, than it has in this moment.]

Dad would want to find a house, somewhere outside the cities. Probably in Florida, if they didn't let him go all the way to Guatemala. He would want to take their life from where they left it.

[A sad sort of wistfulness slipped into his smile, but he shifted over so he could lean on Odin while he spoke.]

My mom... I don't know. It's weird to admit, but-- I mean, I never got to know her as an actual person. She retired and I know she wanted to retire, but - I don't know how much of her wanted back in the flight, how much she regretted it. Maybe she didn't at all.

I only knew her as my mom. I didn't get to meet her as anyone else.

I think - whether she regretted it or not, she would be able to find a balance to her life, if she came here. There's opportunity here that there wasn't back home - finding peace and doing something good both go hand in hand... so. Yeah.

[ he shrugs. ]

I saw two sides of my family. The first was - growing up with them, when the war started. My mom was famous for inspiring hope in people - she would light up a room no matter how dark it was, she would bring people back from the brink of death like it was nothing, and she... she was perfect, as a healer and as royalty. People flocked to her. And my dad - he was silent and brave. Lead men and women into battle and still somehow did the most damage while doing everything he could to keep his soldiers safe. They were both heroes. To everyone.

[ He crawls back onto the bed and lays down on his back, tugging on Poe's shirt so he'll lay down next to him. ]

And then - time travel. I met them when they were younger, after they had just gotten married. It was funny, but they kind of hated each other? They were petty and argumentative and sniped with each other all the time, and I never saw that growing up. I loved it. I want to be in a relationship with someone one day where I can just-- have them tease me and goad me into fights and make fun of me for something stupid and it just makes me want to kiss them. I don't know... that sounds stupid. I think.

[ he rubs his chest where his heart keeps fluttering. ]

Do you think - you would live with them? If you were here when your parents showed up.

[He flops down next to Odin like its the most natural thing in the world - probably because it is. And he can feel the shift, somewhere in his chest. It had gradually been happening anyway, but this is the first time he hasn't been able to explain it away. A balance has changed and he can't really bring himself to mind. Even if he doesn't say anything aloud about it. Maybe later.]

I don't think it sounds stupid.

[His voice is just a murmur when he says it, twisting so he could rest just head on Odin's chest.]

No, I don't think so. They deserve time just with each other.

Between me and the war- they never really had that. I wouldn't want to be too far, but-- yeah.

What about you?

[ Odin wills his heart to slow down, but it doesn't - with Poe's head on his chest, there's no way he wouldn't be able to hear the pounding against his ribcage or the way it skips a beat every time Poe looks at him. So. He makes a point to stare out the window, to try to limit the damage, and again, refuses to talk about it. ]

Mm. I don't know. I want to live on my own, or with whoever I end up giving this ring to. I didn't have that kind of freedom, before America. It was just palaces and tents. But - my mom's pretty clingy. She'd probably break me in half if I said I didn't want to live with her. It probably wouldn't be my choice, in the end.

[ His heart beats faster when he looks down at Poe, briefly, and he goes back to that window. ]

My dad, too. He... he tried to save someone, once, and she died. He blamed himself for it, and he became - really, really terrified of certain things. Trauma. He was distant with me, when I was growing up, but only in bursts - and I found out, when I was older, that he was like that because he was scared of me? Even when I was just a baby. Like, "what if I get him killed, too", that kind of thing. But my mom told me he always ached whenever I wasn't around, even though he struggled with it, sometimes.

I don't know. I'm lucky. I was really important to them.

[He didn't reply right away, just picturing what Odin was describing.]

... Maybe I'll get a chance to meet them.

[Just a low, murmured, thought.]

Though I think your mom might break me over her knee, first.

I'd love that? I'd love that. I'd genuinely love that more than I can put into words. You meeting them.

[ He plays with Lissa's ring a little more, catching the light on it. He hesitates before replying to that last comment. ]

She only does that to people who deserve it. She's more likely to hug you until you can't breathe.

I don't know, I would probably deserve it.

[Something lumped in his throat, causing his heart to stall, but-- a switch had been flipped and it was impossible to ignore it.]

I haven't exactly-- been great to you, Owain.

[ His heart hammers faster, if that was possible. His whole body is tense, all of a sudden, his flight or fight instincts kicking in like he's in a war again.

Fuck. ]

You've-- been amazing. To me. Just by letting me stay around. I think. Not many people would.

[He lets out a breath which makes clear just how much he disagreed with that. But that lump is still in his chest and his mom's ring seems to be growing heavier by the second and abruptly he sits up, twisting around so he can look down at Odin properly.

He was, at heart, a man of instinct and action. It was hard to ignore the overwhelming need in his chest. Should he have thought about this for more than ten seconds, actually thought about it, but he and thinking were sometimes not the best at working with each other. So instead the sudden flare of bravery went undeterred.]

No, Owain. I haven't been amazing and I have just - let you-

[There's a second's pause there before he forges ahead.]

I should have told you in the beginning - how much I wanted this. Instead of-- pretending like I didn't.

[He pauses, but not long enough for Odin to interrupt him.]

Instead of just doing it and pretending I wasn't. But--

I don't- really want to pretend anymore.

[ There's fear, in his eyes, when Poe pushes ahead with this. They don't talk, it's not what they do - he's scared of what this could lead up to, that Poe's going to tell him he doesn't want this anymore, and he already feels his heart breaking.

But then it doesn't.

He grips Lissa's ring tight enough for his knuckles to turn white, and he-- struggles, for a moment. He's scared, still, even as he examines and re-examines what Poe just said to him from every angle. When he speaks, it's hopeful and steady but so so quiet. ]

I... uh. Poe -

[ deep breath. ]

Poe... you know how much you mean to me. How much you've - always meant to me. If you're telling me-- there's a part of you, some kind of part, however small-- that might feel he same way as I do, I...

I'm-- not going to be able to take it. If you're screwing with me. So.

I was hung up on someone who was never going to love me back. [The words are quiet, and they should have been more painful to say than they were. Instead he felt... relieved. Unburdened.

That was what convinced him he was doing the right thing. As if he was finally freeing himself from a trap he had created all on his own.]

You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve someone - torn- so I-- [Force. The more he spoke the more of a massive fucking idiot he realised he'd been and the more sure his voice sounded.]

I tried to set a line. Tried to save you, from me, but I--

I keep falling back into you, Owain. So I don't really understand what I thought I would achieve.

S... stop. Stop.

[ Fuck, fuck, fuck. Owain has his hand over his heart as it pounds so loudly against his chest that he fears it's going to burst out of him. He tries to take a few deep breaths to calm down, but every part of him feels stretched to breaking point and nothing he says to himself works.

He swallows, nervously, and runs his finger along the inscription his dad left his mom on her ring. It helps. ]

Your - loyalty. And your kindness, and your selflessness, and-- and how deeply you care-- about me, and about everyone you love. Those are all... reasons that I love you. If you were... "torn", that-- that...

Look. I just. I never... wanted to be saved from you. I just wanted you. You know? Every part of you. Every perfect, beautiful part of you.

[ he holds onto that sureness in Poe's voice like a lifeline, needing Poe to be certain so he can get through this. ]

I still do. I still just want you. I'm-- always. Going to be here. If you think we can be something.

I know you did. That's why it... Didn't feel right, if there was a part of me that wasn't there.

[He's still speaking quietly, and he pauses for a minute, fingers aimlessly raising to push the ring at his throat across his skin.]

But I think... I think I'm here now. All of me. [He forced himself to meet Owain's eyes, then, and he felt - calm. He wasn't worried, or nervous, or anxious. He thought he should have been, but instead it felt more like gently letting go. So he met Owain's eyes and he smiled and there was a sadness to it - for time lost, maybe - but it was far more overwhelmed by something that looked a hell of a lot like love.]

I think I've been all in for a while now and just... Didn't realise.

So, yeah.

I don't think we could be something, Owain. I think we probably already are.

[ His heart is still convulsing in his chest, seizing up so often Odin wonders if he could actually fucking die from this. He's on his knees, sitting up, staring at Poe and listening to every word like they're the most crucial, defining things he'll ever hear. He tries to interrupt, a couple of times - but he can't, in the end. He just listens.

And he knows, of course he knows, that a moment like this is huge and deserves one of the stupid overdramatic speeches he's known for, but-- but--

He slams his hands down on Poe's shoulders, staring at him, sweaty and disheveled, his hair a mess, his cheeks a bright pink that spreads up to the tips of his ears and his mouth hanging open like a dog's. He tries to find the words he wants to say, but he ends up just-- just-- ]

What?! What! What. What?? What?? What. What! What! What! What?! Poe. Poe?! Poe!! POE!! POE. POE. Can-- what! Can we-- what?! What can-- what can!! What?!?! Can?!?! We!! Poe!!!

What--

What are we? Then. The--

The something. The something? Can-- you probably. Don't. Names. Labels. Like them. Probably. But what-- can--

You like me. Right? You like me. A lot. Me too? At you. Is that-- is that what we're--

[ Wait, fuck, he's crying. God damn it, why does he always cry? They're happy tears, but they're tears and he hates it, angrily scrubbing them away and shouting loudly to chase them off. It just makes him look even messier. ]

What--

Something. I think. That. I want that. I want-- something. Us.

Hey.

[It was a soft sound, a single word in response to the flood from Odin's lips, and Poe reaches out to touch the side of the man's face, his thumb brushing at a tear.]

[Every single word fro Odin's lips just causes Poe's smile to spread even more. But compared to Odin's energy, he was an anchor in the storm.]

... One step at a time, alright?

[The smile was so wide and fond it make his heart nearly break with something like happiness .]

I think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me, Owain Dark.

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