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Yeah, she was like that but she has a giant fire chicken that can jump over skyscrapers! She could kick your ass too!

[he just has to ask, though it really truly is disgusting. archie has to suppress a gag every time he takes a sip.]

...Heh, yeah you are. [he thumps odin's back then ruffles his hair.] Thanks, bro.

...

Brodin.

[ odin wasn't expecting to be thumped on the back, so he sort of vaults forward a little in his seat, but he giggles like mad when archie ruffles his hair. and... he hopes the tears in his eyes can be played off as just a reaction from being TOTALLY VIOLENTLY ASSAULTED, because the truth is, being called brodin really touched him, and he wants to freak out about that, but he won't. archie needs him to focus. ]

I-I bet she could! Especially if she had a giant freakin' fire chicken, jeez. Not a lot of people could kick my ass, you know. Don't go broadcasting that I could get totally owned by a kid, okay? I've got a reputation to uphold.

Hey - do you wanna write a story about her sometime? Not now, or anything, but maybe when you're feeling a little better. I used to write a lot of stories about me and my parents going on adventures, after they died. It made me feel better, if only for a little while. If you feel like it at some point - we could do that? You and her and her fire chicken taking on the world together. Going home and eating ice cream until you're sick. That kinda thing.

Oh, absolutely not.

[he seems a lot happier than he did a few minutes ago at least.]

...I'm not sure that would help, but I'm into the eating ice cream thing for real.

[ that's good. he's glad archie's at least a little better, but he knows it's not enough. as with everything in his life, he wishes he could do more. ]

Wanna do that right now?

Uhhhh?? Yes? Absolutely right now??

Yeah!! Are you kidding me?! Of course!! I-- hold on, hold on. Wait here!

[ Odin's just really, really happy that he can do something real and tangible for Archie, even if it's something as stupid as this, so he trips over himself in his excitement to get to the kitchen. it doesn't take long before he's back in his bedroom with ice cream tucked under his arm - four different tubs, all different flavors, most of them half empty and definitely belonging to one of his roommates, probably - and he's holding two big ass ice cream scoops. because spoons are for FUCKING COWARDS ]

Here. Here. Here. Okay. Here. [ he shoves all the icecream tubs at archie. just all of them right in his face. he gets first pick!!! ]

[unfortunately, when odin shoves them right into archie's face he jolts and his disgusting coffee (still with JUST ABOUT the consistency to splash) splashes into the open tub of vanilla. archie snorts.]

Guess that one's mine, huh?

Yeah! Yeah. If you want. Or-- no? I mean, I'd try it. The coffee. And the vanilla. I'd try the coffee on its own, but it's probably more palatable with the vanilla. Why do you-- why do you drink weird coffee?

[ it's kind of obvious he's scrambling for a good, positive conversation, but as he sits down with chocolate icecream and puts the other two containers on his desk, he's staring at archie like this is a very serious and very important question he needs an answer to BASICALLY right away. ]

[archie decides not to tell odin that it's to keep him awake when he doesn't want to sleep, so he goes with something he knows odin'll probably buy.]

Because I'm a pirate, so years of drinkin' grog have dulled my taste buds. I have to have it like this or I might as well just drink mud. What's the point when ya can't taste it?!

[ odin slowly finishes his scoopful of icecream, staring at archie. ]

That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about grog to dispute it. [ he sure knows about insomnia, though. way to miss another chance to have your cool new friend empathize with you and understand you, you emotionally constipated old nerd! ]

Can I try some? Of your cool pirate grog-defeating mud-coffee?

[he's pretty sure odin doesn't need to know more about his sleeping habits!!! gosh, it was kind of embarrassing to wake up after that sleepover basically laying on top of him. sometimes being a hugger is a hard burden to bare.]

Uh, sure. Don't throw up on me, though?

[ odin liked it! odin likes hugs. first good night's sleep he had in years. this stupid old man is so emotionally messed up he won't even sleep-hug his dumb platonic bro without getting embarrassed. gotta yell at him about that.

he takes a scoopful of the vanilla coffee, leaves his hand in the tub for a second, eyes archie suspiciously, and then-- ]

You know that's not an option, right? I'm gonna throw up. This is absolutely going to make me throw up.

Let's not-- okay, let's not... throw up in your room? C'mon. Outside. If you're gonna puke then I'll let out Muk so you can puke onto him. He loves puke.

Well, that's. The most disgusting thing. But.

[ okay. whatever archie wants. he grabs the ice cream, wrestling the vanilla out of archie's hands because he wants to carry everything like a good host, and he heads out into the garden, just sort of assuming archie's following him. ]

Do I, like. Need advice? Warnings? Is there a special way to imbibe this devil's nectar? A ritual that must be cast?

Or what? You throw up in the sink or toilet like a normal person? Fuck that. I want you to meet Muk anyway.

[he knows by now to follow odin, snorting at the question.]

Nope. Just put it in.

I-I mean. Yeah. Okay. I guess I just haven't adapted to the thought of willfully feeding one of your pets my vomit? It feels like I'm breaching a pretty basic clause of standard morality, but. Okay. "Just put it in". That's what she said, haha. Uh.

[ ok who cares. he takes a scoop of coffee and shoves it in his mouth. for a second, he stares at archie, glad to see that he really is doing better and glad to know that while this doesn't seem to be the healthiest way of dealing with his grief, he's having some amount of fun with odin right now.

and then he just opens his mouth and drools it all out in big black sludge. and then vomits. just right there. just on the ground. he's just vomiting in the garden. just there. there he goes. like a geyser, almost. yikes. ]

...Okay, when you put it like that, I-- FUCK!

[archie yelps and jumps back, just barely avoiding being splattered by vomit. oh jeez.]

Shit, Muk! Go!

[the slime boy appears in a flash of white light, looking around and bubbling curiously.]

[ BLAUUUUUUUUGH VOMIT EVERYWHERE BLAUAUAUUAGGGH THATS MY WHOLE TAG THIS IS MY BEST WORK ]

[archie winces and turns away, pointing to the... puddle of puke on the ground. muk makes a Noise then cautiously slimes over.]

Muk?

[hey. are you okay? can he eat your puke?]

[ go nuts, muk, you fuckin weirdo, odin doesn't care. once he's done throwing up and being a gross piece of shit, he's actually staring at the coffee icecream again.

and he

just

takes another scoop and chows down on it. it's okay? he doesn't-- wow, queasy. no, no, he's fine. ]

I don't understand how the fuck you-- okay, you know what? Hey. Muk, is it? Hey. You're adorable and I love you a lot. Can you just-- look. You're like a volcano, right? Accepting sacrifices for the volcano god? Can you just-- here. Just-- take it.

[ he gives muk the coffee ice cream. if he can eat vomit he can fuckin eat that too. then odin just stares at archie, full of shame and disapproval. the fuck is wrong with you man. ]

[archie is losing his shit, okay, this is all happening while archie is doubled over laughing really loud and hard in the background.

muk, however, is delighted. it immediately takes the icecream and throws it into its gaping mouth. gross.]

God. Ugh. [ look at muk go. voracious and creepy. kind of like the risen. very cute and happy, though, so odin is going to focus on that and chase out any unbidden thoughts in his head about how goop zombies totally killed his parents.

he looks at archie, just laughing over there like a smug piece of shit, and. honestly. it fills odin's heart with warmth. he made that happen! he made archie happy. so he's gotta keep it going, he's gotta keep being fun. he looks around for something to do, smiles at muk when he sees him because ugh what a cute guy, and then notices the strawberry ice cream he has in his hands.

and then he

just

throws the whole container at archie, trying to just cover him with ice cream. ice cream fight you piece of shit. as it soars through the air, odin screams YGGDRA'S BITE OF THE ARCTIC WOLVES with all the intensity you would expect from a twenty three year old man trying to cover his buddy in a dessert just fo funsies. ]

[archie is laughing right up until the strawberry container clobbers him in the face, splattering the pale pink ice cream all over his hair, face and chest.

he looks down in shock, mouth agape. then starts laughing again, grabs a handful of the ice cream and flings it back at odin.]

I USE ICICLE SHARD!

[stupid nerd.]

Ahahhaha! Stop!

[ Odin laughs and laughs and laughs, grabbing another bucket of icecream and slinging scoop after scoop at Archie, and as he runs away, trying to dodge the icecream soaring right at his face, he trips and just

falls right into muk ]

[fortunately for odin, muk is not in Battle Mode so he doesn't get fully poisoned... maybe only a bit.

archie pads over and holds a hand out.]

You just got poisoned. Cool.

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emeto cw w/e

oh righT WHOOPS SORRY THERES VOMIT IN THIS THREAD

SORRY FOR HOW BAD I AM

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