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i don't know

[How he's feeling or if this is great or not.]

pietro isn't me, so it's not like my future
but it is a version of a future for me? which is weird.
knowing that it's possible. that it happens. at least in one world.

Yeah.

[ he can get that. the morgan he grew up with back home isn't the morgan he knows is out there in another timeline - futures change, tides shift. odin doesn't know how to handle this.

even through everything, the alternate worlds, the disconnected timelines, the parallel universes, the incredible distance their homes have to each other, the repeating imports, the forgotten memories those people had, there was always a small part of odin that hoped he and peter were - destined to be together. this means they're not. maybe. ]

Family is important, like I said. It's this brilliant, hopeful light when everything is full of darkness.
I'm sure whoever your daughter is, she loves you very much. I think you'd make an amazing father. This isn't the first time I've thought that? You'd be such a great dad.
Would you want to meet her? Or.
Is that weird? Because of the - possible future not necessarily being your possible future. Thing.

Edited 2018-08-16 00:33 (UTC)

family's good. it's not everything, though?
like, believe me. I love my sisters and my mother. they're family, blood and all that
but I grew up without my dad? and I'm still on the fence about how I feel towards him still. he's blood too, but he was never there. I grew up without that figure in my life and I kinda made a conscious decision to never do that to any family i ended up having. I swore I'd just...

but uh
turns out I inherited shitty dad syndrome in at least 1 known universe.

[ this is a sensitive topic for both of them, he already knows that. they both had very, very different relationships with their fathers that greatly coloured how they handled things in life, and odin's not sure if he should - apologize, or something, for saying what he's said so far. he feels like he should, if only because there's still that panicked, selfish flutter in his chest that keeps making him want to ask if this impacts their relationship at all. but it's unfair. he's being unfair.

this is unfair. ]

I understand.

What do you mean, though? You don't have a good relationship with... this girl? Or...

Luna. Her name's Luna.

and it was described as "strained". I - Pietro? Apparently was married but it was annulled. which is kind of another lowkey failure by the sounds of things. I guess I'm kinda too idealistic bc I figured if I got married, it'd be... a thing. A forever thing. Or at least decently divorced, not just... saying it... didn't matter. Shouldn't have happened.

what kinda guy can do that? Is that weird? am I overreacting?

this isn't even me. but it's a VERSION of me. and that scares me. I couldn't ever look back on the time I spent with you and try to erase it. I can't even imagine not being with you, because... I love you? And it scares me to think that maybe I loved someone and lost that love entirely. And I let my kid suffer because of it.

Edited 2018-08-16 03:41 (UTC)

I don't think you're overreacting. I know we're not - that, but we gave each other rings, and, like. I can't imagine you ever doing something like that to me. I wouldn't be with you if I thought you were capable of doing something like that.

[ ... ]

That being said,
You would be doing yourself a disservice if you thought through this entirely in black and white.
Maybe there's a reason you had to annul your marriage, maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was the only way. Maybe Luna's mom was the one who made that decision and you went along with it for her sake.
It just. Sounds like a lot happened that you don't know about. Can't know about.

[ "luna's mom". this is hard. ]

we're kinda that. aren't we? basically. it makes me sick to think I could quit on it, so it's pretty much that. i feel physically sick over a version of me's fucked up life, too. i don't know. fuck, i don't know.

[There's a small delay in texts; Peter's head in his his hands.]

you're right though. but still.
she doesn't live with
me? him. pietro.
I don't want to be my dad
not like that.

Are we? I mean -
I'd like to say we are, but I don't... want to push that on you. I know it's kind of a sore spot. In a lot of ways.
And I know it's kind of scary to make a commitment that big, given how transient things can be here?
I've pledged my love and my life to you and I'll stand by that no matter what form that takes. Whether I'm something recognized like that or your... person.

[ delay. ]

I don't know.
He's not you, in the end.
Maybe he doesn't feel as strongly about holding his family together like you will with yours.
There might be a version of me out there who never lost his dad during the war - the ripples that flowed from that divergence would make me an entirely different person. Less caring, less protective. Less heroic, if I can say that about myself? Every loss and every gain makes us who we are, and he's. He's.
He doesn't even have your name. I don't know.

Not that I'm saying - she's not your daughter, if that's how you're viewing her. I don't want to, like, be like, hark! Odin Dark's trembling hand gently veers the boat of Peter's feelings off course, sending it down the smoother prong of this river's conversative fork! Or whatever. Conversational fork? The fork of talking.
I'm saying I don't want to just make you put this out of your mind so we don't have to talk about it anymore.
Just.
Yeah.

This is kind of hard. I don't really know if I'm saying anything right or helping at all.

it's not pushing. I kinda thought about it and maybe that's a talk we should have later? I don't need anything more than what we've got and you already give me everything I could ask for, I just hope I give you the same dedication? That's what I mean. Like. I - this is what I always wanted? To think that maybe, despite my intentions in a world where I thought I had something like this, shit hit the fan and went sour and I failed. And I don't want that? I'm so... happy here, man.

[Maybe he's starting to worry about going home, forgetting this joy and falling into a void like this.]

what would you do if you found out just
randomly
that you had a kid?
some version of you has a kid?

Edited 2018-08-16 04:20 (UTC)

I just don't want you to feel pressured into... I don't know. Feeling like you need to give more. Do more. Be more. Not even pressured by me, necessarily, but by the fear that this could end.
I never know how to explain this - people always say that being ported out is different to death. Worse, somehow.
But it's not? It's not. It's the same as war. I tried to tell that to Poe over and over again, but he never got it.
One day you're here, the next you're not. Be it porting out or death, it's an end to someone. The someone you know. One way or another.
People act like death is cleaner but in war it really isn't? Someone you love could be separated from you in the heat of battle and you'll never know if they were taken by the Risen or hurt and kidnapped and tortured by enemy forces or if they're hiding away somewhere hoping for rescue. Nine times out of ten you have to just treat them like they're gone so you can keep moving and focus on surviving with the rest of your army.
It's. Just.

Things can end. At any time. This. Us. Your marriage back home, carved from another life.
It sucks. But you can't let the fear of being ported out, or the fear of having a relationship end on its own terms, or the fear of falling down the stairs and breaking your neck, screw with the life you want to lead while you're here and alive and in love.
Just. Be yourself? Do what you want, be what you want. Take charge of what you can take charge of and don't focus on the unknown.
Be in love with me however you want to be in love with me. Without factoring in... all of this.
Be a good dad, one day, without fearing you're destined to screw things up.

[ ... ]

I'd probably work myself up and go on a tangent about death, I guess.

[Peter's response? Ring ring, ring ring.]

[ ... cautiously picks up. he doesn't even say anything, just - nervously keeps the phone by his ear once he answers. t hi si s scary do nt do thi s ]

[The line's quiet for a beat, until Peter's pretty confident that Odin's there and listening. He's taken a moment to stretch out over the grass, feeling his jeans still sticking to his legs; Rooty's enjoying the drier hill and running around next to her beached boogie board. The sky's at least clear and open, sun warming his skin as he lays there thinking about how it's time to go home.]

I love you, Owain.

[Maybe he'll lay here a little longer, soggy and barely drying, just to let the shit in his head rattle around until it settles. But he already feels calmer, because he's happy to say he has a really considerate partner in his life. Who he yearns to go home and see, who brings a soft smile to his lips.]

[ Odin doesn't even get the time to breathe a sigh of relief when he realizes Peter isn't calling him to say anything bad - his lungs go empty and a smile pulls at his lips, and instantly, instantly, he feels himself getting misty. ]

Pfft. Pfssh. That's... you didn't-- you don't have to...

[ You don't have to say that. He trails off, a lump in his throat, that kind of hot swell of emotion that shows up right when you're trying not to cry. Odin laughs, a little shy and a little weak, nervous and excited like it's the first time Peter's ever said it. Like they're going on their first date again, like they're out under the stars for the second time. ]

I love you, too. You can't just say that. You know how easily I cry over this kind of thing.

[And this is precisely why he felt the need to call. Typing and texting and meeting up with people in person has always been easier, with phone calls there's always silence and the absence of visual cues. He hates calls when he doesn't need to make them but this one needed to be made. He feels the same soft relief, hearing Odin's voice ground him again and he closes his eyes with a smile still on his face.]

I am soooo in love with you?

[He laughs gently; grinning as he lolls his head to the side and snaps his fingers to get Rooty's attention. He sits forward, arms on his knees as he looks around and decides what to do next. He thinks he has a plan. He was going to get candles anyway, why not make a dinner out of it. Something for the two of them in that warm apartment, to get their minds off the power loss and the flooded streets. The random kids.]

Thank you? For - I don't know. Being my anchor. I'm gonna come home now, but I just. I wanted to just say that.

[ Odin laughs too, a touch goofier and just a bit louder than Peter. He's embarrassed in a good way, losing volume control in the overwhelming, reassuring flood that things are still okay between them, and he lets the feeling warm his bones for a while before anxiety creeps in again just enough to pull him back. He's still happy, still on the trail end of his giggling, but he's... something close to worried. ]

Well... I'm glad you did. I love you? I love you. My moon, my stars. My mold-eating burrito-sucking toucan-boy. I love youuu.

[ He's got too much energy and needs to move, so he's up on his feet, pacing around the apartment while he taps a rhythm on his arm. Smiling too much to talk, right away, despite the anxious jolt in his stomach. ]

Don't have to say thank you. Just come home. We'll talk more about... all this stuff, if you want, or - we can go out and do something special, if you wanna keep your mind off of it. Or watch TV with the dogs? Or... anything.

Okay. I'll - I just wanna grab a few things, and Rooty and I'll be on our way. Don't make any plans for tonight that don't involve me and only me.

[Because he has plans that he'll now start putting into action; involves getting home first after a quick shop hop and a drag of a pomeranian behind him. He doesn't hang up though, not yet, working his way down the hill with Rooty at his heels. She hops onto the board as he gets back into the water, making a disgusted noise at the cold shock of it again.]

Prepare for that how you will. I'll be home in twenty.

Oh, shit.

[ That sounds-- exciting? There's another flutter in his chest and, another laugh that creeps out of him. He loves when Peter takes charge and he feels like that's what's happening now, and the excitement of whatever surprise might be coming is already sort of overwhelming. Bouncing on his toes, Odin nods a few times before remembering Peter can't see him. ]

Um, okay. I'll - okay. Okay. See you? See you. I love you. Again. B... bye.

[ He hangs up, sparing half a minute to look down at his phone and just melt in the afterglow of the call. It's hard not to feel... shaken, still, by everything, but the foundations of their relationship are strong enough that he's not seriously concerned after hearing Peter's voice. He spends the next twenty minutes focused entirely on clothes, picking out what he wants to wear and going with a remix of a certain classic, and given that they lack wine, he pours two champagne glasses of faygo and sets them on the table by the TV.

He drops into the couch and waits, nervously bouncing his foot. Fucking aced it. ]

[Peter gets a quick 'bye' out before the call's over and he's back on track, putting his mind to better use than dwelling on a life that's not his own - nevermind something he can change. He wades back through the water, heading to shops a few blocks over that are still operating; grabbing a few things and hoisting them home. He takes a little longer than he expected, waterlogged and dripping when he makes it through the front door but Rootbeer, dry as a bone, runs in first.

He, on the otherhand, whisks by in a breeze and the faintest few drops of water on the floor as he bounds for the bathroom after dropping things off. A precooked chicken dinner, some candles that are lit with another swoosh of passing silver, and a few other smaller things that sit in a paper bag by the couch. His voice carries out from the bathroom, head peeking out to look at Odin from across the apartment.]

Literally give me three minutes and I'll be right there, okay? Love the vintage, by the way. Terrific choice.

[His champagne glass is empty. Refill?]

[ Peter busts through the door and all of Odin's attempts to look chill and relaxed on the couch are immediately taken from him. He stands up, excited to welcome him home and immediately gets distracted by the pitter patter of tiny paws as Rooty bounds over to say hello first. He picks her up and kisses her nose, watching Peter blur around the room and set up their date. Ah, fuck. Odin's heart feels so full it's starting to hurt. ]

Three minutes. That'd be super generous of me? You can move, like, faster than light. You could finish anything you needed to do in less than three min-- wait, does bathroom stuff speed up too? Why have I never asked you that?

[ You know what? Not tone appropriate. Odin waves away the question and sets Rooty back down so she can go and have a nice drink, filling up Peter's glass again to the sound of theiR rEAL dUAgHtER lapping at her bowl. He drops back onto the cushion and crosses his legs, playing with the vinyl fabric of his pants as it squeaks around his knees. Maybe they should be sitting at a table, or something, but peeking into the bag, Odin remembers that they never really do that. ]

[Peter's laugh echoes through the bathroom as the only answer to that burning question, door clicking closed as the squeal of the shower turns on. Three minutes is more than enough, but when you're trying to scrub street filth off yourself, you gotta wait for the flow of the water a little. That said, he's done quickly and only trips over his shed clothing a little (clattering of shampoo bottles falling like grenades into the tub,) in the dark.

He doesn't emerge from the bathroom so much as he just suddenly reclines against the back of the sofa behind Odin, bent forward to rest his forearms along the edge and raise his brows in expectant wonder of him turning around to notice. Silver hair slicked back and still wet from that speed shower, he's put on some clothes that are also somewhat familiar.]

Hey. Hope you're hungry? I should've asked. I just... I wanted to spend time with you? I know that's all I ever do, but. Today was a lot of brain scrambling and you make me feel calm. You slow me back down to sane speeds. I need that in my life. Need you.

[ In the brief window before Odin notices Peter behind him, he thinks he's alone. It's not like he ever has his guard up around Peter - he's never had his guard up around Peter - but he's at his most vulnerable, at his most Owain, feeling everything he wants to feel, secure that he's not being seen.

He looks lovesick as all hell.

He's smiling, warm and distant, looking towards the bathroom where he still thinks Peter's drying off. That mistiness in his eyes is back, that lump in his throat that burns too hot for him to swallow properly, and he's just so open. The person he loves more than life itself is just - there? Behind that door, wanting to make an amazing night for him. Peter just learned something that would shake a lesser man to his core and he just - wants to spend time with him. With Odin. Ah, he can't handle this.

Peter says hey and that's when Odin notices, jumping out of his skin with his hand on his heart. It's kind of funny, the way the softness in him turns to something so much more airy and then cycles back into a sentimental onslaught of emotion when he realizes what Peter is wearing. His mouth goes dry and he stumbles over whatever it was he was going to say, and - as if he's not sure he can believe this is real - his hands find Peter's jacket, tugging lightly on his sleeve, working their way up to his tie.

He doesn't pull on it like he did with Peter's arm, he just - holds on. Plays with the end with his fingertips. Makes eye contact. ]

Are you serious? You're wearing this? Ugh, you like me so much, you big nerd. [ He pulls Peter's tie up to his face, trying uselessly to hide the reddening of his cheeks behind the edge of it. ] But - I mean - it's - it's okay. It's my pleasure, honestly. You do the same for me? You're the cornerstone of my life, I wouldn't... I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you. I don't have to be able to run faster than the eye can follow to need someone who reminds me how good it feels to just walk.

Hell yeah I like you so much. I don't know where I'd be either and - ah, shit, Odin. I swear to God, if you so much as pull that, we're not having dinner. You'll give me a boner and by the time we're done fucking, it's all going to get cold. So do- don't.

[He doesn't sound convincing, but he does studiously follow the way Odin's holding on to his tie and tethering him close. One lift of his head and there'd be tension on it, a thought that's already making his gut clench up. Too many memories of the island and being lead around by a tie, the only other tie he's worn, makes for a horny Peter Maximoff.

But he grins, wide and bright, reaching up with one hand to skim his fingertips over Odin's knuckles and caress the hand holding said tie with a tender touch. He follows it up his wrist and leans a bit further over the backing of the couch, dipping to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. Slow, lingering and dripping water down the bridge of his nose from unruly silver hair that's begun to stick up.]

May I join you, sir. Dining for two?

[ Fuck, he's laughing again. Peter's so good at making him laugh. He's tempted, but he doesn't pull Peter's tie, because he really wants that dinner - but as Peter dips him down for a kiss, he keeps his fingers curled tight around the fabric, keeping him tethered close so the kiss might last a while longer. He shuts his eyes and feels the tension leave his body the second Peter's lips meet his, and Odin sighs softly through his nose, the taste of clean water and soft skin and orange faygo mixing together. They separate, and Odin's feeling a little too starry to say too much. ]

'Kay.

[ He's basically laying down against the couch's back by now, keeping Peter bent down over him. They're - dining for two, he needs to remember that, but he pulls the end of Peter's tie taut, idly sinking his teeth into the fabric. He holds eye contact, leaving just enough of an indentation, and when he lets go, his eyes rake back over Peter's neck. Remembering that first week.

He lets go, in the end. He moves to sit up on his knees and turns around, resting his hands on the back of the couch and darting up to take another quick kiss from Peter's nose, then drums another hard rhythm against the upholstery and leans back. ]

You know you're gonna get grease stains all over that, right? I mean, I don't care, 'cause it could be in tatters and I'd still think you looked beautiful. I'm just saying. Gonna be marring the woven vestments of our love with the broth within which dead chicken bathed.

Edited 2018-08-16 06:21 (UTC)

I am capable of eating without getting grease all over me.

[He defends himself with a look about being so falsely accused, smiling when Odin finally lets go of his tie. He's already a little aroused, making him a little more pink in the face, but he's powering through it. He looks down at the suit he's in, uncomfortable as it happens to be, and just tugs the lapel to arrange it. Smooths down the front of his shirt.

It's stupidly overdressed but it's something he knows Odin would appreciate. And somehow it fits in contrast to what Odin's wearing, the two of them looking way too good for two idiots in an apartment in the middle of a flooded city. But the candles are lit and it feels - romantic, so he combs his hand through Odin's hair and leans to kiss him again. Smack dab on the forehead.]

Plus there's this little known art of stripping? I can always get naked. So let's eat? And... chill. It's still cold and disgusting as fuck outside.

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