shadowglitter | ic contact

[ odin looks it up on the google. it bristles his tailfeathers. pucci's calling him a liar! ugh, this guy. being so right all the time. he's not gonna address it. ]

Selena! [ severa. ]
She's really cool. Very good with a sword. Not as good as me, but, you know, nobody is. Through some research into various CARTOON ANIMATIONS since coming here, I've discovered her personality is best described with an ancient runeword etched in the mind of all pop culture followers: "tsundere". But, um, more seriously? Yeah. I've wanted to be a hero for a long, long time. I'm kind of happy to hear you say that... I don't think I'm as great of a hero as I'd like to be, but it means a lot to have someone I respect as much as I respect you to validate me. Makes me feel like I have a right to be proud. Man, you think I'm an optimist, too! Ugh. I can't handle you. You're such a sweetheart. Did you, uh... did you handle everything okay? At the prison? I mean, in terms of your mental health, were you okay with people sharing so much darkness with you? It must have been a big weight.

[learn not to lie, idiot.]

oh, the japanese ones? i think they're called 'anime.'
i vaguely remember some from my youth, though very few.
anyway, i have looked up this runeword, and i believe i understand. so she is a kind soul who protects her heart with false anger.
i would be very glad to meet her, should she come here.

thank you, odin.
but i hope you will learn to believe such things without another telling you it is right to do so.
fate, i believe, has dealt you a cruel hand. i do not know if this inclination of mine is right but it is a feeling i have.

do you think you are not? i have found you quite upbeat.
and i am quite well and was quite well, i promise.
do you know, odin, what the greatest flaw of many people is?
i have always believed it to be shame, the unending spiral that comes with tragedy, or hardship, or pain. it is so very easy for people to fall to blaming others, themselves, shaming others and themselves.
i try and see every hardship or struggle as a trial, one that must be overcome. if i fail then i am still alive to try again, try something new, take a step forward no matter how shaky or small.

my apologies, i went on a tangent.
i simply meant to say any trials i faced in a difficult environment were bumps in the road, so to speak. nothing to concern yourself with.

Yup! That's her. Super kind-hearted and super prickly! She's been through a lot. Because of her parents? But, well, so have I. Most of my friends have. Kids had it rough in my homeland. I think maybe that's why you sense something from me? It's kind of hard not to think about them and feel bad sometimes so I guess you've noticed. But then I guess you might also get that sense from me because I talk about darkness and death all the time. I am a picture of a gothic sad boy. Thank you for worrying about me. I'll tell you about my past if you want, 'cause I trust you with this. It's pretty long and stupid though. I don't really think I'm an optimist. I guess I try to be, but I don't think that's who I am. It's just something I want to be, so I try to carry that with me. Shame is definitely my biggest vibe. I don't know if I have it in me to think of the things I've been through or the things I'll go through next as "trials", but, It is very inspirational to me to hear you say that, and I'm glad you've shared it with me. I wish I were more like you, honestly. You're strong and you're kind and you're brave. I love it. And you! Hehe. I can't believe you just apologized to me, Odin Dark, for talking too much. Have you even met me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, okay. If you say you're okay, then I'll trust you, but. If you're not! Then! Talk to me!! About it!!! Trust me like I trust you!!!!!

yes, that would explain it.
our parents and family help form us in a way that cannot be denied. i am deeply sorry your experiences were troubled ones.
your parents, from my understanding, were quite extraordinary, if they are now immortalized as your dogs.
i would like to hear it, odin, but let us do so in person. text is not the place for such discussion.

your actions speak louder than your inclinations.
perhaps to you what you say in do holds no true optimism, but i would ask those around you what they think.
it may be an exercise that helps you understand the strength of your attempts, and what they mean to others.

you did ruin my lipstick application.
but the Lord forgives.

and i will, odin.
i admit it has been a very long time since i've confided in anyone other than the Lord.
i ask for your patience.
(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Yeah, they're the best! It turns out I'm a liar and a coward and I don't want to talk about them anymore though. Sorry. Your dad is God or whatever, right? That's how your religion works, I think? That's cool. I hope I can have a bunch of kids if I ever become a God. Man, no. I mean, thanks, that sounds like a good idea for a braver guy than I, but I'm really bad at being optimistic and I don't want to just ask people if I'm optimistic and have them either validate that I'm not or else make me feel like they're lying when they say that I am. Which I know is unfair, because I should believe my friends to be honest with me, but I don't think that's really how this kind of thing works. I guess. I'm better at helping other people with their problems than dealing with my own. ♡´≽◟◞⊱◟▂◔‿｀)థ

it is not cowardly, and yes, we can drop the subject.
i suppose that's a way to look at it. God is more complicated than simply being a father.
also most consider it blasphemous to say you will become a God.

[says the guy fucking a guy who says that]

we all have our weaknesses. to delve into the roots of our pain and problems is a daunting task for any.
i hope as time goes on you will become more comfortable with it, and hearing the truth from your friends.

also what on earth is that face?

Right. Blasphemy. Haha. Ugh, sometimes I forget that people are all in love with their gods and I shouldn't make light of it. I had that problem back home, too. Most of my religious exposure was to assholes in cults, so... Anyway! It is a really cool and sexy face of a cool and sexy man (me, Odin Dark). I can't believe I even need to explain that to you. That expression is mine, Odin Dark's, and it represents a great, emotional upheaval. One based in sardonic uncertainty and thumbs upperiness. H o n e s t l y.

that would put one off religion, i assume.
i've found 'assholes in cults' to be largely unpleasant myself.

oh i see.
(´◑ω◐`)
i think this one is sick.

Pucci, that is a cute face, but. Don't say asshole. You are a married man. Married to god. What would he say if he knew you spoke such filth? Honestly. Once again you've disappointed me.

i see, you're correct.
i have shamed myself, and you my friend, with my atrocious use of such a word.
this is not the path God wanted for me.

ヽ(｀Д´)ノ　(д´ノ)　ヽ(　　　)ノ　(ヽ´△) ヽ(´△`)ﾉ
that is running, i believe, in despair.

Haha, I totally got you! I bet your cool god doesn't care about talking about the passage of one's rear end. So many biological imperatives, that thing has. I'm sure he's proud of his finest work. Hey but also, Do you know about cultist assholes because you've dealt with them or just because you're aware that they exist and that they're bad? I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with cultist people, if you have. They are invariably terrible.

the Lord doesn't typical concern Himself with rear ends and speaking of them.
so we can only hope such a slight went unnoticed.

i haven't dealt with many cultist, no.
there was a man in the prison i worked at who was a cult leader. his actions resulted in the deaths of dozens of his followers.
he was a truly wicked man, concerned only with his own ascension and wellbeing.
what cultists did you deal with, my friend?

I bet there's at least one verse in that bible of yours where he does, but yeah, okay. I also hope your level twelve unholy butt talk is god-hidden. Man, I really do have so much admiration for you and that whole talkative prison job you were saddled with back home. I don't think I could listen to someone talk about cult-murder stuff to such an infernal, towering degree. But. The big bad cult guys in my homeworld started the whole everything dies thing. It was a problem and it sucked.

you could read a bible, odin, and see for yourself.
you may learn a great deal.

do you believe there are people beyond redemption, odin?
forgiveness is a personal matter, of course, but do you believe if a person truly wishes to repent there are crimes they could have committed that could prevent that?
is there a sin so dark a soul cannot cleanse itself of it?

yes, that sounds like a problem.
does this have to do with these 'risen' you've spoken of?

I'm scared I'll dive deep into your religion and not subscribe to it and we won't be friends anymore. So I'm just going to keep making sweeping generalizations and offensive comments about your beliefs to stay on the safe side, thriving on the very tertiary side-glances into your religious culture I treat as research. Sorry. I think there are people beyond redemption.

[ well, that's all he's saying on that. ]

Yeah.

[ and on that, too. at least for about thirty seconds, but then odin wrestles with his desire to stop diving into this topic and his inability to shut his mouth and his inability to shut his mouth wins out. ]

I guess the more I think about it the more I'm not actually sure of my answer. There were people - terrible people - who did bad things in my homeland just for the sake of fulfilling a certain goal. They believed that that goal - reshaping the world, completely changing the way that people lived, to fit their beliefs - was something destined to happen. They believed that fate couldn't be changed, and that they were the instruments of it. Do you think people should be forgiven for valuing their own beliefs over the happiness and the peace of a group of people? What if that group of people was the size of a country? Or of a world? These people in question, the Grimleal who believed in fate, were human traffickers, ritualistic murderers. Criminals. By acting on their beliefs, the only people to benefit were they themselves. Everyone else hurt. They ruined the world. I don't know. I think when people are so delusional that they're willing to throw an entire civilization into a type of chaos that they mistakenly view as law, or fate, or whatever else - entirely because they believe it's "fate", or because they personally stand to benefit from the new world they want to create - I don't know. That's what happened at home and it made me lose everything. Can people like that really be forgiven?

there's a question in general ethics whether intentions are truly meaningful.
for example, if your intention in running across the street was to save a woman being mugged but in the process you cause a car accident, are you wrong?
most would say no. you caused harm but you couldn't have helped it.

now, imagine you bank everything on a belief you truly and without doubt know to be true.
people are hurt for the sake of this belief, but it must be for things to move forward. you and the world are hurt for this, but the end result is a greater good than anything else in your mind.
is this person evil?
what do intentions mean to you, odin?

Okay, yes, but using that analogy with the cultist bad guys that I've known, A man did not run across the street to help a woman being mugged. He ran across the street to help an ancient dragon wake up and devour the living, and in the process he accidentally slaughtered an entire village of innocent people, and then also I guess that wasn't an accident because he totally did that on purpose as well. Am I supposed to be like, "oh, it's okay that you did that, because you had an unwavering belief that the dragon your cult would awaken would murder everyone and that that was supposed to be good or fate" or whatever? The "greater good" to these people was still just the worst. Personally, though? I'm in two minds about intentions. I think if you have good intentions, that's all that matters, even if you screw up. (I kind of have to believe that, because of how often I screw up.) But I think if you just keep screwing you despite claiming to mean the best, you're just a terrible and bad dude. (Re: Odin Dark.) So. I don't know. Why d'you always ask me these hard questions? There's no spell I can cast that'll make me smart enough to answer them. How do YOU feel about intentions and the greater good and all that?

you do not need to forgive those who wronged you, regardless of intentions.
redemption is a very different beast.

there is no right answer, my friend. sometimes being unable to answer fully is an answer in and of itself.

and i am afraid that is my own answer. my own good intention to protect my sister led to her death.
i would like to think many things, and i will go forward believing there is always something to an such intentions, but it is one of the answers we cannot know.
only fate answers it.

Man, you've been through too much. I dunno what you've been through, entirely, and I think maybe you know more about me than I do about you, which is fine, But you've been through too much. Sorry for all the big serious talks about fate and stuff, even though I'm not actually because I think you were the one who brought it up first? But sorry anyway. I know what it's like to suck at protecting people. Iiiiiiiiiit suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. There is no vocabulary grand enough to properly capture the feeling, though it goes without saying that mine comes close.

ic contact

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject