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[shadowglitter]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I only drink Chocolate Milk. THE DARKEST OF MILKS! art credit code credit

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[quickfingers]

Okay so we gotta find like two hundred gnomes and surround his house with them while he sleeps. He can awake to a hundred beady little gnome eyes watching his home. We can make them wear plaid and be blond, it works right?

[shadowglitter]

Wait

What if we sneak into his house and put them everywhere in secret places instead so he just finds them

[quickfingers]

Man, the options are a hard divide.

On one hand, the visible gnomes are immediate responses. We'll know he found them when he sighs and texts us. Or screams audibly at their intrusion.

However, the other option? Stealth. It'll stretch on, giving us satisfaction for days. Months. Years. Decades? He'll never know who did it, where they come from or when (if ever) it will stop. It's crueler. I think I like it more. But are we ready to be Those People?

[shadowglitter]

I always embrace the nuclear option, so I'm still trying to think of a way to combine both? There has to be a way.

Okay, here.
We go with Plan A. We cover his tree in gnomes.
We wait until he sighs and gets angry at us, and then we just kinda stay back while he cleans them all up.
And then we put just one or two gnomes in the tree the next day. He'll be like, ugh, what? I thought I got all of them!
And he'll clean them up again.
But then they're back again the day after, just waiting in the branches, unnervingly silent. And he'll be confused, maybe start to suspect something's wrong. He cleans up.
The day after, they're back again.
They're closer to the house, like they're climbing down from the branches to head inside.
And he's getting nervous, at this point, but we both just keep insisting neither of us have anything to do with it.
And he doesn't believe us, but he's getting nervous? He's starting to wonder if we're telling the truth.
And then - he wakes up, and it's inside. Just one. Just by his kitchen. He throws it away.
The next day: two.
The day after: three.
Four. Eight. Sixteen. More and more gnomes hidden in his home, his cupboards, under his bed, everywhere, until he's scared.
And then we stop. We stop stealthing gnomes into his house. When he's about to lose his mind, we stop. We let it lie. He thinks we've given up, even though this whole time we've refused to take responsibility for what we've done so he doesn't have any direct proof we did it. A month passes. He forgets. He forgets the terror that gripped him, the screams that choked him. He forgets how every morning he used to be too afraid to open his eyes because he didn't know if there would be a gnome in his bed just waiting to greet him.

Then we just leave one on the toilet.

[quickfingers]

Odin Motherfucking Dark.


You are a genius.

[shadowglitter]

and so operation eternal sunset begins.

[quickfingers]

I'll start collecting gnomes so we're set to start when we're back on earth y/y?

you didnt see shit

[shadowglitter]

I'll find some dirty straw to make blond wigs out of. Hahaha.
Totally just burned his stupid pretty hair.

woof

[quickfingers]

Grab any plaid you can too. We'll do some arts and crafts bs party after we celebrate our victories in space, revel in our wealth and celebrity upon relanding, etc.

then we strike

whomst dares?

[shadowglitter]

Oh oh oh oh oh! Oh! OH OH OH OH

Some of them can have tiny band t-shirts? But like with really awful slogans on them, or even just showcasing bands he doesn't like. Is there any music he hates? Try and find out. You're the music boy.

w o o f

[quickfingers]

I'm on it. It'll be my job. Like whoa.

we're a good team, odin. you and i.

calls the police

[shadowglitter]

I think we are, too. You're a really good guy.

Let's fuck that brat up.