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[ Odin's been taking refuge in the space shuttle's confessional pod over the past few days, trying to keep out of everyone's (read: Poe's) way, and that's where he is now-- locked inside the tiny room, sitting on an easy chair, his face periodically projected over national TV. He's startled to get Leia's message, and after some of the conversations he's had with strangers, recently, he's a little guarded. ]

you sound very kind. but. you're not here to make fun of me, right? people have been making fun of me a lot.

[ Odin rereads Leia's message and decides - she seems too kind to be anything but honest. He takes a breath and pushes on. ]

i don't know if i'm alright or not. i'm trying to be? my friends are all supporting me and i don't want to let them down. but this sucks? everything sucks, my dude. i do know that i'm odin, though? which, i guess you know that already and i'm stupid for saying it. but, i'm odin. thank you for checking in on me.

Ignore them. I know that might be hard. They're only doing it to get to you and you're better than that.

[ He'll come out stronger and better than them. ]

You're trying and that's all that matters. The same for your friends supporting you.

You're not stupid. Not to me. It's nice to meet you, Odin.

... thank you. seriously. you're really kind. i needed this. it's nice to meet you, too. beyond nice, actually? really super ultra-nice. if there were a word that was more "nice" than "nice", that's the word i'd use to describe meeting you. are you friends with poe? or - do you know him? is that why you sought me out?

You're welcome.

'Ultra-nice', I like it.

I'm his General. I sought you out because of him, yes, and also because I want to apologize for him. And yes, to check up on you.

oh, you're in the war with him. he doesn't talk to me about it much, but i know he carries it with him. i've been in a few, so i get it. uh, actually, i know this is probably an inappropriate time to offer this, but if you ever want to talk to a soldier outside the scope of what you're dealing with back home, i'm totally capable of lending an ear. i'm good at listening. you don't need to apologize for him. he didn't do anything wrong. i was the bad guy in this situation. i shouldn't have told him the things i told him in the first place, let alone on national television. it was a selfish and short-sighted move and he deserved better than someone like me doing something like that.

I am, yes.

Talking about it can be hard for some. If you've been in it for as long as he has, since he was able to first walk, there's a lot of loss that comes with it throughout those years. Sometimes talking isn't enough.

The war never seems to stop back home. Anywhere really. Sometimes it can be hard to also let yourself live. Actually live. The war goes on inside you.

Thank you, Odin. I appreciate that. You're very kind to offer an ear. But I didn't approach you to talk about myself and what's been the cause of my grief.

No one was the bad guy, Odin. What you did wasn't bad. You were simply following your heart and expressing yourself. I don't see anything wrong with that. I admit that I wish I had the guts to do that myself but I can't. You're brave for what you did, admitting to how you felt.

It was hardly selfish. It was better to get it out rather than sit and be consumed by those feelings. Bottling anything up, it's never a healthy way to deal with anything, especially matters of the heart.

I don't believe it's a matter of Dameron deserving someone better, as you put it. It's something else.

Just know that there's no shame in what you did. There shouldn't be.

Edited 2017-11-28 15:47 (UTC)

no, i understand. i've been fighting since i was very young. it is almost everything i know, other than the duties of royalty i was taught as a child and the servitude of a bodyguard i learned as an adult. war is a hard thing to leave behind, even in a world like this one, so distant and apart from the things we've done. i know you didn't come here to talk about yourself, but if at any point in the future that's something you need to do, my door is always open. i don't know if what i did could be considered brave, but bravery is something i value a lot and it means more than i can say to hear you recognize it in me. i also think, um. i think it's very rarely wrong to speak from the heart. it was in my case. i made a mistake. but i don't think it's always like that. so i agree with you, that bottling things up is unhealthy. and i think, if there's any part of you that wants to say something to someone close to you, you should definitely do it. we could be ported out at any moment. the people you love could be gone, tomorrow. i know that's not different to the way we've probably both lived back home - i don't think either of us come from worlds were longevity is expected in a person's life - but. but here more than ever, where everything is generally so peaceful, there's no time to waste, if there's something you need to say to a person. i'll try not to feel ashamed of what i've done. but man, i wish i knew why he doesn't love me. i thought, there was more between us. he made me feel worthy in a way nobody else ever has. he made me feel like being around me was a joy, not a trial, which is how many people have felt when dealing with me. i just, man, i love him so much. he makes my world so much brighter. i hate that i've sent him away.

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