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[ what a fucking idiot. with his one arm and his stupid thoughts. what a fool. definitely right about the bumbling bullshit he'll spout before he's done, though. ]

Red... I miss them.

[ the truth is, when archie first told odin pucci lost an arm, he was kind of annoyed? pucci didn't reach out to him, it was weird hearing about it from someone else. but - it makes sense, if pucci was worried about him, and if he viewed his own injury as just a trial, as he says. he feels sort of shitty for being pissed. but. whatever. he shuts the door when they're inside, heading up to his room and flopping down on his bed. god he missed beds. ]

We should have big serious real talks about stuff. There's a lot to catch up on. Tell me everything you've been doing, these past few weeks.

You should visit them. I'm sure Red would enjoy it- in fact he told me recently he was excited you were returning.

[yup, maybe if odin hadn't been doing so shittily he may have been inclined to tell him but. odin was doing worse than he even thought.

not that he thought the arm situation was worthy of as much concern as odin was giving it, but odin hardly knew dio was getting him a replacement. still, that could take a while. he follows to the room and takes a seat on the chair i godmoded as being there report me.]

Hm, well Whitesnake is no longer following my orders, and his range has increased. That has been... irritating. [he sure does sound irritated!] He thankfully hasn't caused much trouble for others but he has certainly caused a great deal for me. I suppose I have only myself to blame.

[ pucci godmoding is IC it's fine ]

We're gonna have a sleepover, me and Red. No boyfriends allowed. 'Cause, you know.

[ he gestures. bein' rejected and all. also, that is fucking horrifying news? odin should be tactful about this, but whitesnake still makes him think of the fucking risen, so he just opens and shuts his mouth a few times before: ]

One of us should probably kill him? Do you want me to kill him? He won't be the first goopy cur I've burned to a crisp. Where is he now? I'll totally take him out.

[i mean. you're not wrong entirely huh. pucci looks amused]

I see, try not to get Red into any trouble, will you?

[well, pucci kind of expected this and shakes his head.]

If you kill him I will also die. I feel and experience anything that happens to him. [so don't murder him, dio will literally skin you.] Though if he starts causing true trouble I may take you up on the offer. I was concerned he may approach you, given your... history. If he does please contact me.

I-- hm.

[ That feels like an insult? Odin's not a troublemaker. Odin's a troublestopper. Odin's... trouble. Heh. Step aside, world. Odin's a troublemaker. ]

I don't want to kill you. He hasn't contacted me. I'm kind of surprised he hasn't.

What kind of stuff has he done since-- everything?

That is not an indication you will not cause trouble.

[he sounds faintly resigned. we all know what will happen.]

I am too. Frankly I was remiss not to warn you sooner, but thankfully he must be busy.

[and he sighs] Petty thievery, insulting people, causing general trouble like that. Having trysts just to irritate me at inopportune moments. He's mostly been quiet since my arm.

Now, shall we talk about you, Odin? Tell me about your troubles- vent, if you would like.

I feel like I've misrepresented myself to you as a human being if you're already condemning me to causing tr--

[ wait ]

Who did Whitesnake fuck?! Wait! Wait! We'll get to the other stuff in a minute! Top or bottom?! Wait. Can he even-- what's-- how does it... work? What does he-- he's humanoid, right? So he's got a humanoid-- wait, wait. I've run this Jonathan thing into the ground, but he's got two dicks 'cause he's, like, reptilian, right? Whitesnake's a white snake, so does that mean-- oh man! And the goop! That's so...

[ ... ]

Is he going to hit on me?

[pucci sort of just. sits back and lets this happen. he probably should have waited until after this discussion segment to ask odin about his feelings. boy.]

No, he will not. You are not to his typical... tastes. [he rubs the bridge of his nose.] Do you really wish to know the particulars of my Stand's genitalia, Odin?

[...]

That is a stupid question, of course you do.

That's a stupid q-- [ oh, Pucci's already saying that. He shouldn't have interrupted.

Odin folds his arms over his chest. He'll ask one question, and if the answer is terrible, he'll let this die and go boil his brain in acid.

He stares at Pucci. Challenging. Threatening. Daring him to say the wrong thing. Daring him to be terrible. Daring him. ]

How...

How similar is it to yours?

[pucci stares at him. if he had two arms he'd do what he's doing in my icon. unfortunately he is struck low and unable.

he watches odin with dead eyes]

A suggestion, instead. I will answer one question regarding Whitesnake's tryst with complete sincerity and all the details you desire, but only one.

Is this your one question?

[ He has a fifty-fifty chance of finding out something terrible if he dives into this question. ]

I...

[ he racks his brain. he sighs, frustrated. ]

Is this where fates wings have guided us, Enrico Pucci? Have the winds of destiny led us down this path? This is the logic error I find myself enraptured in - if his genitalia are, as I fear, an identical reflection of yours, a confirmation in the affirmative would lead me to wonder one thing: would his dick look more at home on your body, or would yours look more at home on his? For surely, identical cocks in this conversation would surely lead to an convoluted mishmash of aesthetic - the palette of your skin, so different to his, is reason enough alone to find flaw with this twin theory, but then we bring in the proverbial personality of the penis - eagerness, tentativeness, size, shape, the indefinable it quality - all of these factors would align with such an unparallel sense of confusion if the two of you shared a uniform, indistinguishable penile identity.

And yet - if you deny this? If you tell me his penis is the direct opposite of yours? Assuming he even HAS one? I--

The questions, Pucci. They would ruin me, in the overwhelming tidal wave that crashes through this pathetic mortal brain, too slow to process the weight of them. It would be an impassive "at least one of our dicks is not humanoid" that slips from betwixt your lips - because by default, yours, Pucci's, most surely is, but perhaps it's not, and his is the humanoid one - but then why limit myself? What if they're both bizarre, incomprehensible? Impossible to imagine? I... no. No.

I...

I...

I have...

[ he looks to the sea. the sea in his mind. he's just staring at his wall. ]

I have decided my question. Pucci.

Enrico Pucci.

[ he flicks his hair out of his eyes. ]

Will you...

Ask Whitesnake to send me a photo of it?

[pucci remains quiet a moment, closing his eyes and apparently deeply lost to his thoughts. this moment of peace in an otherwise chaotic world is broken when he shifts, getting to his feet.

why did he get up? just to pose, with 50% less arm.]

Odin, have you ever wondered why the image of a snake eating it's own tail is sometimes used to represent the concept of the infinite? Surely this gruesome picture, a beginning and an end that promises only blood and meat, it cannot somehow create a true loop. Is this snake not a fool, Odin? Or has he simply found the promise of infinity in a mere moment?

[he stares ahead, unblinking, before turning to odin] Perhaps you too, Odin, are no fool, but merely saving yourself, plunging into an infinite future free of the forbidden knowledge you seek.

I said I would answer one question, not take one request. My answer to your question, Odin, is no.

[ Odin nods. He nods. He nods again. He nods.

He nods.

He

nods.

He puts Pucci in a headlock and starts giving him a noogie, screaming blindly at the top of his lungs until he has to take a breath. Then he screams again, until he has to take another breath. And then, finally: ]

Tell me about your snakeboy's dick, nerdo!!!!!!!!!!

Edited 2017-12-12 10:09 (UTC)

[the number of times pucci has rough housed is 100% 0. i mean unless you count whatever he and dio do but i'm pretty sure that's like. just sex stuff. so. point being he's kind of taken off guard by this and actually makes a surprised sort of squawk. elegant.]

O- [he waits for the scream to end. done? oh ok.]

Odi- [nope, there he goes again. pucci waits patiently.

ok?? this time?? he waits another beat. ok.] Odin, I am fairly certain it is in poor taste to 'noogie' recently injured priests in an attempt to make them talk to you on phallic matters.

[ ... ]

[ odin pries himself off of pucci.

he gently brushes pucci's hair down, getting it nice and even again. he looks sadly at where pucci's arm used to be, feeling about 40% guilty because he totally considered whether or not he should put pucci in a headlock or not given his injury before deciding to just do it. he's been rough housing with too many people the past few weeks? he's still cooling down.

he brushes down pucci's clothes. makes him all neat and presentable again. looks sadly at the ground for a moment. ]

[ and then--

crying. ]

I'm having a really hard time right now and everything I do is stupid and I'm a stupid person and you shouldn't be my friend and I'm just doing stupid stuff because it's all I know how to do but everything is stupid and I'm stupid and I'm sorry.

... Odin? [frankly the silence is unsettling, and he just sort of. lets. odin do his thing, watching him closely. it was still rather novel to be concerned like this, but not novel enough to shock him.

the crying makes him blink, just completely baffled before the expression settles. right, of course, in a way he was expecting this. he sighs softly before grasping odin's arm and pulling at him gently.]

Come here, Odin. [he offers, and will wrap his one dang arm around odin if allowed.]

[ Odin stumbles dramatically over and sorta flops against Pucci, hunching over and resting his forehead on his shoulder. He sob/snifffle/shudder-breathes all at once and then exhales, long and sad. It's the worst. He's so sad. He likes the one-armed hug, but it makes him feel guilty, because Pucci's got way worse shit going on than he does right now. ]

Everything sucks? Everything sucks. I wish my parents were here. I miss my mom.

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