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Ow, fuck. [He lifts his hand to rub at his eye, smacking blindly back at Odin.]

But go on, tell your host about this newfound love of your life. [Considering the ratio of chicks to - dudes - around here is much smaller, he has a feeling he may know where this is going. Which is why it doesn't make him feel weird, which in turn... makes him feel weird. What the fuck, Peter. Just be chill, you stupid son of a bitch.]

[ just when you think this bitch is gonna zig, he swerves on ya. goes right for that zag. ]

Harley Quinn? Have you met her yet?

[Huh.] I... haven't really had a hot minute to talk to her.

What's she like?

Uh.

[ fuck he doesn't know her well enough to answer that question. the joke's already dead. the joke's died. he flounders. he looks at peter and tries to think of an answer, fails, reaches over him to grab an oreo from the box he set aside, then just shoves it in peter's mouth. yum yum yum yu myu m ]

I don't know. [ crumbles that cookie all over those shitty fucking teeth. ] No, I'm not falling in love, c'mon.

[Peter gargles like a guy with bologna in his face, but takes the cookie like a champ and inches it past his lips with a roll of his tongue and chews it. Laying down makes him wary not to choke, the last thing he needs is to gag up oreo creme filling.]

Y'know, you're forgetting the winner is like. In this room? Like.

[He stretches for the night stand,] Right in front of you?

[Sup, it's fucking Paulina, bitch.]

[ yeah, ungh, take that fUCk iNG c O oKIE. odin's fingertip gets the briefest of brushes against the end of peter's tongue and he panics, wiping it dry on peter's shirt. hegnr. he slumps all the way down on the mattress until he's laying flat on his back, his arm curved back under his neck for support.

he knows where the joke is going, so. he just watches, waiting. ]

Paulina's a queen. She needs a harem, not a lover. My well-honed body and perfect dong wouldn't be nearly enough for this insatiable lust-scavenger. Am I right, Paulina?

[ he pats paulina on the beak. this wild woman and her frenzied sexual freedoms. no one man can compare. ]

[Peter snickers, wiggling his hand up Paulina's ass to animate her with a glee that really shouldn't radiate out of a 28 year old with a toucan puppet. But he turns over onto his side to face Odin, holding her up like the worlds most proud father of a toucan slut.]

True. She's a wild thing? A wild wing, really. ['That's right' Peter pantomimes in a slightly higher voice.]

If I punched you in the dick right now would that count as her giving you a blowie? It's tempting.

[ Odin laughs, then goes quiet. ]

Did I put cameras in the bedroom?

Good question. [Peter says with a pause, lowering Paulina before just shrugging. He feels like somewhere in the back of his mind he knows it isn't, so he's not too concerned - but at the same time he's not doing anything necessarily that feels unnatural. Things he wouldn't do back home, nothing secret or stupid.]

If you do, we're already in the mix. You want the toucan blowjob or not? It could boost your ratings. [He nudges Odin in the chest with a stupid smirk, waggling his brows to pursue the joke.] And then you can declare her your winner, give me her cash prize and then live happily ever after with the fuzziest fleshlight around.

Plus I know some deets on Debra that would make her less likely to air anything I don't want to see on air.

I mean... I appreciate the offer. What man doesn't want to get beaked? But. I just don't think a punch to the dick is really... I mean, you'd have to jerk me off, if you really wanted to sell it. Unless you get, like, really bad blowjobs. I just don't think a punch quite cuts it.

[ he shrugs, yawning against the back of his hand. he's not embarrassed either, really. peter's just... peter. fluzzy fleshlights or no.

still. something eats at him. the thought of peter winning the prize, maybe. the mutual recognition that debra is a hot fucking mess. he gently pokes peter in the ribs to grab his attention again. ]

Think you would've been a contestant if I were a girl?

[Peter laughs, smile wider than before - that's funny, he's gonna used the beaked euphemism later on. Laughing makes it easier, skimming past the subject of handies like it's all some big joke. It is. And it's a funny one? He flops his hand down next to him after swatting at Odin's prodding finger, which nearly mutilates his Hansens.

But then his smile diminishes, fading at the question that's pretty unexpected. He feels his laughter still stuck at the back of his throat but there it sits.] Well, to start... can we just appreciate how you'd look as a chick? You'd already be out of my league, but we do know that's my type. But like, I dunno?

Would it be fair to be on my best friend's show? Talk about home team advantage. Or someone crying that it's rigged.

Edited 2018-02-11 08:40 (UTC)

Kaneki's put me in drag a couple of times. Did you know that? I'm pretty good at pulling it off. I asked him for huuuuuuuuuuge boobs until he was red in the face and yelling at me to stop asking for huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge boobs. And then I got them. It was a glorious day for the both of us.

[ he laughs, so much easier than peter apparently can. he draws his legs up as he lays there so he can cross his leg over his other knee, bouncing his foot lazily in the air. oh, they could listen to cisco's mix tape... he looks for his phone, fails to find it within three seconds and drops his head back down on his arm. later, maybe.

curiously, though, he asks. ]

That's a no, then?

[How is he supposed to answer this? There's two avenues of doing so, starting with the somber truth of digging into "wouldn't that be weird, though?" because... they're friends. And friends cross a lot of boundaries sometime but this feels like a stiff one, one that Peter needs drawn in the sand. Only... the more he dwells on it the more he worries that maybe he's freaking himself out here and is shutting down his natural responses out of a fear that doesn't need to be there, doesn't need defining - just. Doesn't? Anything.]

Of course I'd fucking be on your show, though I'd still probably be hosting it? Assuming we'd still be blow for blow friends here, but... even not? I'd probably tap that. Like I said, things out of my league? Totally my thing.

[Smiling, even if it feels strange, just for a second.] The real question though? Would I get to be a hot chick too? In this hypothetical mirror world.

[ It's obvious - too obvious, maybe - that he's hanging on every word, every thought. Watching Peter with eyes slightly wider than can be played off as natural, his lips just slightly, barely apart. He swallows when he gets an answer and something changes, something imperceptible, a hard to read reaction as something in his expression slips and the bounce of his foot stops.

And then he just, laughs. As he always does. ]

Sure.

You wanna be my hot lesbian mirror-world girlfriend, then? We should come up with names. What's the opposite of Odin? O... Ophelia, maybe...

[Peter's smile returns full force when he hears Odin laugh, when things don't hitch on Peter's stupid responses and how he's making this strange. Odin's been nothing but the best thing in his life lately and Peter can't afford to ruin it by hesitating due to his own messed up feelings. Not here, when Odin finally has a chance to shine? He can't make this about him. Stupid Peter Maximoff. Enough Maximoff drama already.]

Hell yeah? I mean, Ophelia's a cute name. But like, you're - named after Odin, the Allfather or whatever? Alldaddy? [Snerk.] Isn't uh, uh... he married to someone? Would you be her, technically? Or just like, girl Odin. Girl, um...

Girl Owain, actually? Hah. Owaina.

[ oh, fuck! odin laughs, sitting up a little now, shuffling over to lean on peter's side and use his chest as his pillow instead of his own arm. he totally forgot about the alldaddy thing. ]

Fuck, remind me to do a shout out to Woden at some point. Call him out for being Wodenlly good.

[ he does a chef kiss to an imaginary burger, and then slows down a bit. to focus on, you know, the heterosexual fanfiction. ]

I wouldn't really wanna mess with Owain as a name, even in, like, fantasy lesbian world. It's too, like. Special. I'd probably still just be called Owain? I dunno. Girls can have boys names sometimes, right?

[Peter laughs, head back against the pillow - Wodenlly good. Fuck.]

Yeah, that'd be cool - our fucking fantasy world, we can do whatever we want. Though a girl named Peter? That's fucking pathetic. I wonder if my mom had back up names, like Penny or... Petra? Maybe I would've ended up Wanda if things were totally flipped around.

[His brow furrows at that, though he slips his arm around Odin loosely and wiggles to get comfortable.] Hey, can I ask you something?

Yeah. Wait, no, let me guess. You want me to come up with a name for you? I can do that. Laserdisc.

[ laserdisc piledriver. Dot Empeethree. he goes through a few names, gesturing stupidly with his hands up to the air in front of him before he realizes his joke got so carried away that he stopped Peter from asking his question. he lets his arms drop. ]

I mean, yeah. Of course? What's up?

[Peter's smile flickers back and be boops Odin on the nose in a you're such a moron kind of way. Affectionately, too.]

I just, I don't know... Been talking to Lucina a bit and she always calls you Owain? And I never do - never thought to, even though I know it's your name. You've just always been Odin to me and that's cool, but I just wanted to know what you prefer? Odin outside, Owain in? One or the other? Whatever makes you comfortable, man.

Just tell me and I'll stick to it, 'kay?

[ Pfshfsfh. Odin rubs at his nose and leans up further against Peter's chest. It's a good question. One that might have been a long time coming, all things considered. ]

It's... complicated?

[ he smiles, slightly apologetically, then tries again. ]

Owain is the name I was born with. My mom gave it to me. It's one of three things I have left of her. [ he pauses. ] Two and a half, I guess. It... I don't want to lose it? It's mine, and I...

[ there's a quiet that follows. a pregnant pause, as he dwells on something. a mistake, maybe, he isn't sure. he scrubs at his eyes and forges ahead. ]

I had to take the name Odin? It was given to me by a God who stole away my identity. Made my hair blond, even though that's not its natural colour. Removed a brand I was born with - a huge tattoo on my arm that indicated I was a member of the royal family. My identity as a prince of another world had to remain a secret, during my time in Nohr, so... yeah. New name. Odin. I've only had it for six years.

[ not that those six years don't matter. the name odin means a lot, because it's leo's and it's nohr's. it's just not-- his. ]

Both names mean a lot... but. [ he hesitates. ] Like I said - Owain is the name my mom gave me. It's a name only my family remembers. I've kept it private, handing it out in secret to those who started to matter - but I'm a coward? Lucina showed up, and she's my home. I couldn't ask her to not... call me that. I needed to hear her say it. So.

I don't know. It might not be special anymore now that everyone knows it, but. It is. To me. So.

It's up to you.

[While that was a lot of introspection into things, and it gave Peter a lot of insight, it didn't give him an answer. Which was part of the point, he realizes with a glance away and his fingers snaking back into Odin's blond hair to admire it. It's up to him to try and navigate from here, work something out... and he's instinctively close to wanting to hold on to Odin, since Owain seems like something farther away. Like he doesn't yet have the closeness for that to be tangible. Does he have the right to call him Owain? Didn't Poe do that?

After a pause:] Okay.

I'll just see what rolls out naturally, but I just wanted to make sure I didn't call the wrong thing out and make you uncomfortable. Odin. Owain. Odin. Owain. Both have a certain ring to 'em. I'm just used to... Odin, so it's probably what I'll blurt out more.

[ Odin shuts his eyes, letting Peter brush over his hair. His heart catches a little, and he clears his throat, focusing on something grounding. ]

Names are important to me. They're as real and as influential as the person who bears them? They're as solid and tangible to me as-- as like-- like the shit I made you for christmas, or-- the bracelet on your wrist. They matter to me? And they need to be treated with, like - respect. So.

[ a pause, and then a shift. ]

I don't want you to force anything. I just want you to do what feels right. Which is-- actually kind of how I always feel with you? I want you to just be-- like-- like, totally and completely happy and safe and comfortable whenever I'm around you. In this and in everything else.

[After a moment Peter's fingers still in Odin's hair, drawing down to rest his palm against the back of his neck as he yawns behind his other hand. Having someone next to him like this is doing him in, that warm hook of safety and security that reminds his body it hasn't slept well in ages. Makes the tension in him dissolve and starts to lull him to relax.]

I want you to feel the same way, man. And you do? Make me feel at ease. Like right now I just... this is nice? I wanted to chill with you more but I can tell I'm gonna pass out before we get to any hot gossip, but just... is it cool if I still crash here time to time? I'll try not to get in the way but this room makes me feel at ease.

Probably 'cause it's yours, but also 'cause it's full of dogs.

Man, you're gonna go to sleep?

[ he can't hide how disappointed he sounds. stupid bodies and their stupid passing out bullshit. he sits up and rests on his elbows, looking over at Peter, maybe a little too close. ]

I mean-- like, yeah. You don't have to ask.

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