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[shadowglitter]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I only drink Chocolate Milk. THE DARKEST OF MILKS! art credit code credit

Comments

[quickfingers]

i also just farted

[shadowglitter]

I can't believe my powerful and flawless boyfriend has such mastery over the arcane arts that he can manipulate the element of wind with such crushingly debilitating prowess?

[quickfingers]

it also smelled like nachos?

[shadowglitter]

Again: biology, memories, romance, etc.

Maybe we should take you to a doctor, though.

[quickfingers]

no! maybe i finally got a new porter power
one i never knew i had

[shadowglitter]

Oh, maybe.

Maybe it's just... everything you smell smells like nachos. Maybe that's your power.
Go spray some deodorant on your butt and see.

[quickfingers]

[2 mins later]

not my power
rooty let out a stinker fart far worse than anything i could ever do
did not smell like nachos

[shadowglitter]

Time to put her up for adoption.

[quickfingers]

or f i x her diet
did SHE eat nachos?

[shadowglitter]

I know Lissa and Lon'qu got into some old take-out, but. That just made them hack up half-processed chicken nuggets. Their farts were no more killer than normal.
And she hasn't been over lately, right? They probably weren't in a position to be terrible influences over her.

Did YOU feed her nachos?

[quickfingers]

do i look like i would've done that

[quickfingers]

i may have done that

[shadowglitter]

This craven piece of shit over here. Unbelievable.





remember when we ate mold

[quickfingers]

i try not to

[shadowglitter]

I see it in my dreams. Even now.
You know how I wake you up sometimes because I've had bad dreams about the war?
I'm lying, every time I do that. I'm actually having bad dreams about the mold.

[quickfingers]

you know how sometimes i can't sleep and i tell you it's because i'm a mutant
i'm lying, it's because i'm actually gonna have bad dreams about the mold too

[shadowglitter]

why are our lives... so difficult and sad

Wanna come shopping with me for real food for Rooty?
We could do that gross couple thing where we both push the cart together while talking about all our happy domestic bliss or whatever.
Or you could ride in the basket-y part and I could push you.
Or I could stand on the end and you could push me while I pretended I was a knight and the cart was my steed?

[quickfingers]

you wanna actually do the cart thing
i'll do it
i'll make it go really fast too

[shadowglitter]

make it
go fast enough
that i break
my bones

[quickfingers]

ur gonna look sexy in that full body cast

[shadowglitter]

I guess you could say that I'll...

[shadowglitter]

[ heh. heheh ]

[shadowglitter]

Full body cast...

A spell.

On you.

With my body.

Sexually.

I'll cast a sexy, full body spell on you, sexually, and I'll be sexy while I do it.

[quickfingers]

you cast spells on me sexually with your sexy body every day
be original for once, you plebe

[shadowglitter]

Originality is and always has been my first wife. You stand in her shadow.
How dare you accuse me of lacking flair; of lacking uniqueness.
My dick is a magic wand. You're supposed to be enchanted no matter how many times I bless you with its charms.