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okay good call because she could honestly kick my ass and probably just look vaguely annoyed about it

i mean yes blind panic alert but that was after i got him set up and stuff

622? yeah he knows
he's known since even before finn got ported out for good

way before we started dating he tried to talk me through the possibility of this exact thing happening and like an idiot i was like I'LL BE FINE I'LL JUST NEVER TELL HIM AND WE'LL GO BACK TO BEING FRIENDS

he said i'd probably end up doing or saying things just because i'd expect him to remember and spoilers he was right
spoilers he's way smarter than me

apparently they already met and fought santas together so
?????

Man.
I love you, you dumb stupid idiot. You big idiot stupid idiot baby.
Your life is a garbage mess of bullshit and problems, but I love you all the same.

[ okay, let him think. he swerves away from asking if 622 knows about him, too, even though oh man, it would be so easy to ask. it's fine, let's press on. ]

Okay, first step:
I think that maybe you should tell him you dated, maybe.

hey i am not a baby

i don't think i could really avoid it forever even if i tried but i

i have no fucking idea how to tell him about it

i don't want to put him in a position where he feels pressured in someway and i sure as hell don't want him to feel guilty for something that isn't his fault

like

what good comes out of telling him
for him i mean
for me obviously i don't have to keep beating myself up every time I accidentally reference it but what good does it do him

especially when he just got here and is trying to adjust to this place

he needs his friend

I just think that maybe Finn and secrecy haven't really gone together super well in the past maybe a little bit maybe?
Keeping things from him hasn't ever gone well, but opening up to him has.
Because he's a good person who listens and understands. That's, like, his whole deal. That's his armor.

You can still be his friend while establishing, you know. A framework of honesty.
It doesn't even have to be a big deal? Just...
"Hey, I guess I should tell you before you hear about it from somebody else or literally go online and look at anything written about you on the internet in late 2017, but you and I used to be together! Zero pressure for this to mean anything, I just thought you should know!"

And then I guess he stabs you with a shortsword and proves my point wrong but.
Honesty won't make you less of his friend.

i'm being as honest as i can around it

i even told him about the fucking trees

and i know you're right i just

okay well how would you feel if you came back without memories and you met Peter and he was like oh hey yeah we were dating and i was totally in love with you and your toned ass but i'm dating another swordsman who wears sparkly lingerie as clothes now

I don't think Peter would date again if I left.

[ which is true for the both of them, but he dry wheezes a little at the thought of pETER DATING SOMEBODY ELSE ANOTHER SPARKLY LINGERIE SWORDSMAN? WHO IS IT? WHO WOULD THAT PERSON BE. OWAIN TAKES A SECOND TO LET HIS HEART CLEAVE ITSELF IN TWAin ]

Are you, like.
Are you worried he might still have feelings for you?

well that makes me feel loads better and not at all like an asshole
it was a hypothetical question owain

i don't know

i don't know when he started to

if it was back home, then yeah

but it's not like my feelings fucking turned off either

I'm not trying to make you feel like an asshole, I'm just trying to shatter the false and terrible illusion that me and Peter would ever stop being together ever forever ever and ever.
Hhhheghgh.

But, um. Okay. Hrgrgh.
Friendship. So. Okay.
I think! I think. I think? What I think. Is that. I think:

When you and I stopped sort-of-seeing-each-other-sort-of-relationship-thing-sort-of-relationship-BB3K-space-together-you-and-me, you tried to be pretty definitive in the break-up-break-up-up-break-break-up so that I had a chance to get over you and move on.
Right?
If you and Finn are still holding candles for each other, but you want to stay exclusive with 622, maybe talking it out and saying nothing can happen will help the both of you move on a little better.
And then you can be friends! Proper friends. Friends without any baggage.
Like us now.

[ He could argue about the Peter thing but - there really wasn't a point. He knew Odin's ideas on love too well by now. Romantic idiot. ]

okay but i was convinced you hated me for like months so i'd rather not repeat that

i know though
you don't have to convince me that i need to tell him because i already know it
and i'm going to
i just don't know how to make it not hurt

he's done literally nothing wrong and if he does have feelings for me then it's going to fucking hurt, right?

he doesn't deserve this and i hate it

To be fair, I'm a sensitive baby with a heart of a pure and delicate maiden. I'm the flexible willow with branches that drift and sway in the wind.
Finn's the kind of guy who just has, like, a massive cock. You can tell. Gigantic greatsword. Thick. Hefty. Bigger than mine.
Balls of brass. Actual brass. Not a euphemism. Real, genuine brass down there.
(Please don't confirm or deny any of this, because even though I haven't been jealous and miserable thinking about you having sex with other people for a while, I don't want to fall back into those briny depths.)

My point is,
I don't think he'll be as emotionally susceptible to flights of tragic heartache like I was.
He'll be able to handle anything that comes his way.
Besides, you're friends, first and foremost. Friends hurt each other sometimes, but they get through it.

yeah new rule no talking about dicks we've seen
i'm going to gently erase that block of text from my memory

and yeah

i know you're right

but i'm real tired of hurting the people i want to protect
that's all

It's like setting a bone. Ripping off a bandaid.
You're a soldier, not a medic, and I understand that, but sometimes you need to be a bit of both.

[ There's a significant pause before he replies. ]

yeah.

just if you guys meet and fight santas for some reason maybe don't mention it until you know i have

There is no universe in which I would be willing to hang out with Finn.

[ that's not true, ugh, he's just a baby. finn's a cool dude, odin would love to get to know him. he's a hero, odin adores heroes. he can't hold a grudge, even if he might want to.

still.

hard to backtrack and say that after being a dick. ]

[ He wasn't expecting that. He has no idea how to reply to it. He just stares at it for a couple of minutes, gut twisting in an extremely unpleasant way.

Right. Cool.

No baggage at all. ]

... right.

think i'll leave you to it for the night, then

catch you around

Okay.

[ Okay.

Okay. ]

I didn't mean that. I don't know why I said that.
It's just weird. Right?
It's weird. Me and Finn. Isn't it? It's weird.
It's totally weird.
Tell me that's not super duper weird. To imagine.
Me and Finn.
Friends.
That's not weird to you?

not my call, owain.

but there's a far cry between being friends and refusing to hang out with a guy in any universe

i'd rather you go back to just hating me, thanks

I never hated you?
I'm just being melodramatic. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
I'll literally go and hang out with him right now, just to prove that I didn't mean it. Don't think I won't. I totally will! I'll burst into his messages like a meteor shredding apart the earth's crust with my flaming and calamitous body.
Try and stop me, you dumb idiot. You big dork.

i'm not going to make you hang out with him

just
if you don't mean it don't say it

i wouldn't put up with someone acting like that about you, either

though i will say completely seriously that your boyfriend's dog is better than he is and i absolutely will never take that back

[ ugh, he feels like a dick. he really didn't mean it, it was just a kneejerk reaction. he feels a little sick, and even though he hadn't actually been planning on talking to finn, well - now he makes the decisive decision that he's going to, and it's going to be great, and they're going to be best friends. no, scratch that. they're going to be BEST FUCKING FRIENDS ]

Mn.

Don't tell him I said this - or her, for that matter -
But I like Peter more than Rooty.
Just a little.

what
no
you're kidding
that's impossible

well i'll keep your secret

though i think the cat might already be out of the tent on that one

wait that doesn't sound right

[ pfft. ]

No, you got it. Nailed it.
Use that all the time, please. Whenever possible.

i'll put "approved by the famous odin dark" as a subscript every time i use it

bird out of the tent? bird out of the bush? cat out of the can

great
now this is going to bother me all night

Horse out of the X-wing.

[ he could just tell poe the answer, but. eh ]

Listen -
I just want to say that no matter what happens with you and Finn, he's not going to stop talking to you.
You guys are very close. Closer than most people can ever dream to be with someone else.
Nothing's going to change that.

no they don't have x-wings here so it can't be that
also i've seen a horse

if one got in my x-wing it would destroy the whole place

that's a way different tone

[ There's a pause. Sometimes he gets reminded of how much younger Owain is than him, and this is one of those times. There is a lot he could argue there. A lot. There's a hundred thousand things he can think of that would change everything. The only way his relationship with Finn was never going to change in any way shape or form was if one of them died. And the unfortunate truth was that he expected one of them to.

He just hoped he got a little time in first.

But he didn't say any of it ]

yeah
he's a good man

i'm the idiot

so i'm sure we'll be fine

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shadowglitter - 2019-01-12 02:52 (UTC) - Expand

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