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Even soldiers need help sometimes. [He said it with the solemnity of both truth, and a truth he obviously never actually took into account for himself. For his squad? Yeah. Damn right he's going to make sure they get the help and support they need. For himself? Smile and laugh through every psych exam.

Otherwise who would be able to make sure his squad was okay?]

So maybe - in a while - you could both help each other, too.

[At the question, though, he breathes out a long sigh, and takes a drink of the beer just to delay having to answer.]

... Yeah, I don't know. I've been through worse. Maybe haven't - literally died that many times - but for the most part - random dangers and spikes and fire and disco rooms - that all made fine sense. It was -

[A pause.]

Did you ever get to a room that... that gave you a weirdly good vision?

I just-- don't need help as much as everyone else does.

[ It's the truth, in a way, but he's also deflecting. Odin's actually a lot like Poe - smiling and laughing through everything to make sure everyone else is okay is just one of Odin's many gigs, and he could relate to that, if he knew they dealt with things the same way. But... part of trying to be the sun so nobody else has to burn that brightly means admitting to your own suffering can be - difficult, and Odin pushes past this part of the conversation to avoid it.

He breathes out, pretty fuckin' sad at Poe treating his deaths as no big deal, but it's not like he doesn't get that, either. He runs his fingers through his hair and takes a step back, crossing over to the beer he'd brought up for Poe and swapping out his milk for a bottle instead. Manly man drinking time. ]

No, I didn't have a room like that. I had-- [ he hesitates. ]-- I had a room where we saw our guilt, and the horrible things I'd done back home, but no, nothing good. What, um - what "good vision" did you see?

Force, I had that room, too. [Though his was mostly just filled with ghosts. He doesn't expand on it, and doesn't ask Odin about his. When he's asked about the other room he sighs and rubs a hand through his hair.]

It- okay, this is going to sound weird, and I can't explain it very well. But I saw a - a girl, a kid. Six years old. My kid. I've never had one, don't exactly have - it's not really an option right now - but that room-

[He frowned, starting down into his beer.]

Somehow it - convinced me that she's real. I have - I swear I can remember everything about her. Six years worth.

[ Odin's not going to ask about Poe's, no. He does feel a little comforted that he wasn't alone in dealing with that, but he tags a swig from his beer and just feels shitty that, again, someone he cares about had to suffer the way he did.

He's kind of shocked at the admission of a daughter, though, and for the first time since coming to America, he's kind of thrown for a loop? He's not sure what to say, or what to feel about that, and he has to struggle to pull his thoughts together before he knows what he wants to say. ]

So, um - I have about four explanations as to what that might mean? But I'm just guessing and I don't know if you want to... think... about her... or whether she's real or why she could be real or why she might not be or-- or something. [ he nervously takes another gulp of his beer. ]

Six years is a long time, though...

Hey, any theories you have, I'm willing to hear, because so far all I've got is a psychopath tried to fuck with my head and succeeded.

[He sipped his beer.]

... And I.. I don't know. I don't really want to stop thinking about her. I don't really want to forget her. Even if she's not real, she - she definitely felt like she was. And forgetting her feels like I would just be killing her again.

Well, that's theory number one. Everything I saw in there felt, um. Very real. [ he pauses. ] My parents are gone. They were killed by the undead. There were undead in that house that looked like them and I watched them kill my friend. Like I said, I'm a soldier, and I've had enough time to compartmentalize that by now to realize it was just-- [ his voice goes weaker-- ] it was just something to mess with me. But I don't-- I'm just saying, even if it feels real, there's a possibility it's like that because he knew she would feel real, and that's why he--

[ Odin cuts himself short, shaking his head. "It's all in your head, the psychopath did it" is one theory he had, yeah, but it's not the focus he wants here. ]

Nevermind, just - okay. Let's work off the theory that she's real, okay? It's possible that something happened with your memory to make you forget about her, either here or at home. Maybe someone... screwed with your head after coming here, like the narrator did in the house. Maybe an import made you forget her? [ he pauses. ] Or maybe you have amnesia back home, so - so you didn't remember her here, until you were given a reminder. Right?

Alternatively, um - timelines? I know some people here who are from different timelines in the same world. Someone comes from a time where X happened, but someone else comes from a time where Y happened, instead. Hell, timelines were a thing back in my homeland, they're kind of pains in the ass. Maybe - maybe you come from a timeline where she doesn't exist, but you saw a glimpse into a world where she does.

... Uh, and my last theory-- [ he scratches the back of his head, unsure how to suggest this one, but if it's something that clicks, maybe it would be crueler not to say it. ]

Maybe she's... gone. Maybe it was-- um, trauma. A self-inflicted thing. Sometimes people will away memories, if they-- hurt. If she died, maybe you-- tried to forget.

[Poe grew visibly more pale as Odin continued. Something clenched in his chest and wouldn't let go, right and painful. Six months ago, he would have laughed it off, easily. But Earth - Earth had been messing with him. He could barely find it in himself to reply so just said, very quietly,]

I'm not sure which of those options is worse.

It might-- [ Odin taps his fingers on his beer. He was hoping if he was right about any of those there'd be... recognition, or something, or-- ]

It might just be a trick like you thought. I don't know of any imPorts here that can mess with someone's memories, and-- and the nanites heal physical injuries when you're ported in, so I'm sure amnesia might be... fixed, or-- or... or something. Maybe not, but--

Look, if she's real, I'll help you find her. I'll help you find out why you forgot her. I'll ask around about the house, until then, and see if anyone else remembered something that real. I don't think much else can be done.

[Poe turned his head to look at Odin - really look at him - and then he reached out with one arm to drag him close into a sideways hug, pressing their foreheads together.]

You're a good man, Odin. And a good friend. Thanks.

[ Odin laughs, a little, openly moved by the contact but a little unwilling to say so - "i really like spending time with you" seems like a pretty inappropriate thing to say, given the seriousness of the conversation they've been having.

Probably not as inappropriate as the heat that crawls up his spine or the dryness in his mouth that comes from being this close to Poe, though, and when he pulls back a little, he's visibly a bit more nervous. Or, well. Distracted. ]

You're, um. Also. Good.

[ he chugs half his beer real quick, coughing a little and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. sheesh. ]

[Poe smiles fondly at him and then pats his back when he coughs to make sure he doesn't choke. He chalks up the nerves to the conversation, rather than the contact, and so doesn't bother to break the touch, leaving his hand on Odin's back.]

Well I've gone and made this evening dour. Next I'll start telling you about how my mom died and then it'll go really downhill.

Hey, I started it. I talked about my mom dying, too, so I've got you beat all over. When it comes to ruining an evening, nobody is quite as skilled and talented as Odin Dark.

[ he sips his beer, buying time for the heat to fall from his face and the nerves to stop playing in his head. he has to breathe out a couple of times for his heart to calm down and his stomach to stop freaking out. ]

You can still stay over, if you want. Even if we don't-- I mean. We could, but I just mean-- we could. Like. Hang? For the night. Until morning.

[The sheer amount of fondness is obvious, it warms his smile and crinkles his eyes. He shifts until his back is resting against the wall, the holds out his arms to invite Odin into them.]

Come here, relax.

[ Relaxing is good. It's a bit of a drain, emotionally speaking, to not only relive the experiences he had in that house, but to push them aside for someone else, even if that was his own choice - he crawls up the bed to lay next to Poe and immediately rests his head on his shoulders, just kinda grabbing Poe's arms and wrapping them around him like he's a mannequin to manipulate. he slides his arms around Poe's waist in return and just kinda side-hugs him as tight as he can. ]

Thanks. Sorry. You're the best. I wish I could do more for you. I don't like thinking of you being, like, worried or unhappy or whatever.

[He pulls Odin in tight, tilting his head to rest it on Odin's, arms wrapping around him.]

Don't worry too much about me, bud. I'm mostly okay. The rest I'll bounce back from. I always do. [He pressed a kiss into Odin's hair, squeezing him a little, perfectly at ease with the physical affection, and indeed seems to be relaxing a bit himself.]

[ Odin hugs Poe just a little bit tighter, burying his face into his shoulder and feeling warm all over. He... likes this feeling. He's never been cuddled like this before, honestly, but he's not going to say that. ]

I've never been cuddled like this before.

[ fuck. he struggles to keep talking so Poe doesn't focus on that. ]

I'm here for you if you don't bounce back as easily as you might want to. We're buddies. I'm here to make you feel good.

Then you've been missing out. [And he cuddles him again to prove it!! He gives him another kiss on top of his head and then chuckles lowly.]

Thanks, Odin. Though I want you to know how hard it was not to follow that up with a come on about feeling good.

Yeah... I think so. [ odin shrugs. ] I don't think people think I can sit still long enough to be cuddled.

[ he chuckles, though, breathy and low against poe's neck. ]

That's okay. I totally meant it as one, on some level. My hands are so close to all your good parts. I can't help it.

[With Odin pressed against his chest, it's probably not difficult to heart the way his heart sort of stutters at that - as if he'd only vaguely been considering it, and now his body is definitely considering it even before his mind can get there. He hummed lowly, as if thinking about it. Maybe because he was thinking about it.

And he was thinking that it would make for a really, really nice distraction. Probably inappropriate, given what they had just been talking about, and how heavy it had been, but somehow that - just made him want it more. A physical comfort to match the verbal one.]

... You don't have to help it. [He finally says, his pulse running a little quicker, murmuring it into Odin's hair.]

If you don't want to.

[ It's Poe's heartbeat that helps Odin decide to take this a little further, because knowing Poe wants this - wants him - makes Odin feel like a fucking king. He gets it, too, the need for physical comfort, and that's what chases away the biting thought at the back of his mind that this is too much, too quickly.

He angles his lips so they're closer to the crook of Poe's neck, and he plants a trail of kisses down it towards his collarbone, gently biting down as he goes. He moves to be on his side and locks one of his legs around Poe's, his hands sneaking down to Poe's belt and slowly unbuckling it. ]

Tell me if you want to stop. At any time.

[Generally speaking, Poe preferred his sex very much in the casual and likely not often repeated category - easy to enjoy, then cut loose. This was already leaning into 'probably more feelings than really should be there' category, even just based on context. Admitting things he barely could tell anyone, and then just how slow Odin is moving against him -

Definitely 'danger' territory. He considers, briefly, laughing it all off and ruffling Odin's hair and saying 'maybe just cuddling', but finds that he can't. His hand does wander up into Odin's hair, though, fingers lightly scraping at his scalp.]

Trust me, I'd let you know. [And he would, if he actually wanted him to stop. But...]

But don't.

[When Odin locks his leg, he locks back, pulling him closer even if it makes getting at the belt more awkward, hand in Odin's hair pulling it back slightly to force Odin to tilt his head upwards, barely time for a blink before Poe moves in to take a firm, warm kiss.]

[ All of this is new for Odin. He'd never been kissed like this, until his first time with Poe. He'd never taken someone's clothes off of them before, like he's doing now, awkwardly tugging Poe's pants down just enough to comfortably reach his hand down and rest the tips of his fingers just by his waistband. He's never been close enough to a person to recognize when there might be "danger". He just... likes this. He likes Poe. A lot. More than he should, maybe, but he can't imagine Poe feels any different about this than he does.

He's tentative and nervous when he kisses back, but he wants to be good, so he's eager when he tugs at Poe's lip and tries to deepen this already. He reaches his other hand up to Poe's jaw and gently traces a thumb over his cheek, and he opens his eyes, just a little, which had fluttered closed without him noticing. He's lost, a little, in Poe's eyes, and he doesn't try to hide how taken he is by them.

He's already hard, grinding one shallow thrust against Poe's leg, but he doesn't break apart or move to address it. ]

[His heart thumped, hard, meeting that look - half because no one in the galaxy could be looked at like that and not react, and half because he is now 90% sure that he shouldn't be doing this. Casual. This was supposed to be casual--

He deepens the kiss almost just so that Odin can't look at him like that anymore, so that he can pretend that they're just having fun. Again, that brief flutter of thought - laugh it off, Dameron, tell him that adoration looks good on him and tease it away - except that he needs this so badly. It doesn't have to last forever to enjoy it in the moment, right? (Enjoying it doesn't necessarily mean he's going to break Odin's heart, right?)

Odin spent so much time making him laugh, maybe in the end he'd be able to chuckle about this too, and not just have those eyes send electricity right down to his cock.

The danger siren continues to ring in his head and he- he ignores it completely. He cups Odin's face in his hands as he deepens the kiss, his hips rocking against his hand, his thigh rubbing up into Odin's groin. He keeps kissing him, but let's his hands move after a moment to try to get under Odin's clothes.]

[ Despite Poe's best efforts, Odin's eyes stay locked on his - half-lidded, eyebrows pinched with need, an overwhelming affection pouring out of him. He's looking at Poe like he's the whole fucking world, right now, and Odin's breath catches when Poe's thigh pushes against him, partially because of the feeling but partially because Poe is making him feel like this. His chest hurts, full as it is with excitement and arousal and the first, tiniest feelings of something more than friendship.

His heart is gonna break and he doesn't even realize it.

He pulls back, finally, though he makes a noise like he's disappointed in himself when he does it. He tears those eyes away from Poe to look down at his clothes, and he tugs at Poe's shirt, pulling it off over his head pretty damn unceremoniously. He swallows the nervous dryness in his mouth as he does the same for himself - shrugging off his stupid cape, tearing off his gloves, pulling down the top half of his bodysuit to completely expose his naked chest and abs to the night air. He's uncharacteristically nervous - he didn't care about being exposed the last time they did this, seeing as they did it in the fucking air and he just got off on the excitement of it all, but now it's... different.

Now, he really, really wants Poe to like him. ]

[Poe's lips are parted, his own breaths shallow, easily letting Odin get his shirt off and away, before moving to hook his fingers into the bottom half of Odin's body suit, slowly pulling it down his hips.

His own eyes are at least full of fondness - an a nice heavy dose of arousal - but he can't help but note the nervousness in Odin's expression.

Even if he can't keep looking at his face the whole time, eyes travelling down the rest of his body.]

Force, Odin, do you have any idea how good you look-- [It was a rhetorical question, however, as he continued to help push the bodysuit past his hips, then down his thighs-- He couldn't help but wet his lips.]

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cw cw cw smut thread smut thread smut threaD DICKS DICKS DICKS

as if anyone reading this isn't here for EXACTLY THAT REASON (i see their minds)

tut tut tut

came for the smut, stay for the feels, then lie down and cry slowly in a puddle of my own tears

welcome to ship town motherfucker i'm its mayor it's time for porn and emotions

oh well i guess i live here now