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[shadowglitter]

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[shadowglitter]

What if I throw a curveball and just tell 3 truths?

I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM FANTASTIC
I AM AMAZING

Peter Maximoff.
I am so good at this video game.

[quickfingers]

then I would throw 3 back and you'd never score a point against me for picking the lie. half the fun is in disguising it and making the other person feel like they don't know you at all

my turn:

1. My hair is a dye job, but it suits its silver purpose.
2. My sister made me bleed at my Halloween party after a vain attempt to possibly kill me.
3. My father was a Horseman of the Apocalypse.

[shadowglitter]

Oh, yikes. Tough. Okay, let me state my thought process.

One: My hair was literally changed and made blond by an ancient God, so if that's the truth it's boring. If it's a lie it's boring, too. Honestly, it's just a really boring option and I wish you'd said something better? So.
Two: please be real
three PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, one's the lie.

[quickfingers]

Look @ U, scoring a point.

[shadowglitter]

NRRRGHHH
RAUUUUUUUGH
THE TASTE OF VICTORY 'PON THESE SOFT, CHASTE LIPS
AH, SHE WEEPS AS SHE SEES ME: O LADY LUCK, THE DIVINE GODDESS SO IN LOVE WITH ME!!!
FEELS GOOD BRUH

Okay, okay, me me me me me me Odin Odin Odin Odin Odin Odin Odin.

1: I've slain dozens of foul villains! Hundreds, even - more, perhaps! Brigands, pirates, thieves - their blood has run red from my blade! And like also from my magic too also but that sounds more stylish than heroic so I'm just talking about my blade right now.
2. This one time I created 120 names as options to bestow upon my Lady's armor, and when she decided to merely embrace the first of such monikers that slipped from betwixt these lips (so chaste, so soft), I vowed to burn the remaining 119 and condemn them for their inferiority.
3. I've crafted an incredible training technique that, without exception, successfully sculpts a person's body into the sort of chiseled athleticism they've always yearned for. It's an advanced spell, called F.L.A.M.E., which stands for Furious Lifting: Art of Muscle Enhancement. It makes muscles enhugeify twofold, and makes one's lifting be ever immaculate.

[quickfingers]

2 because you said betwixt and I hate that word. it's a word of lies but also I'm guessing

[shadowglitter]

Nope! It was 3.

I was really sneaky about it because I actually did make F.L.A.M.E but it's totally bullshit and doesn't work. If a girl named Effie comes in and asks about it though don't tell her because she'll benchpress me.

[quickfingers]

so that was 2 lies and a truth

[quickfingers]

stop fucking up the game odin

[shadowglitter]

I don't understand what I did wrong because I told two truths but I guess I'm new to this so I have to defer to your judgment.

Sorry I guess.

[quickfingers]

my turn:

1. my name is peter
2. I got a date with the girl
3. I did not get a date with the girl

which one is the lie. take your guess

[shadowglitter]

YOU DIDN'T GET A DATE THAT'S THE LIE THAT'S THE LIE YOU GOT A DAT EYOU GOGU TOADA TE DATEYOUD AOADOATED DATE YOADU AD ATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When? When? When? What are you guys gonna do?

[quickfingers]

I'm gonna go chill with her tonight @ a bar
that counts as a date right

[shadowglitter]

Want me to be your emergency call in case things go all Magnus-shaped? By which I mean nonsexual and a little awkward.
I can call you half-way through all like, Peter, your house is on fire!, and not even set your house on fire.
Second demand:
Maybe you could also call me from the bathroom in the middle of the date to tell me how things are going?
Not in like a mid-coitus way because I remember you said that was her thing but in just like an oh excuse me mystery girl I need to go powder my nose (but actually I'm going to tell my best friend everything about how everything is going right now) sort of way.

[quickfingers]

I make no promises about mid-date play by play but considering that what we're doing rn is just that, don't think it's impossible.

And how about this: I text you a certain emoji and you know that's your cue to save me from the disaster I created around myself.

[shadowglitter]

YES
YES
YES
SECRET SPY-CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE SHOULD TAKE THIS IDEA AND RUN WITH IT AND ATTACH A FEELING, MESSAGE OR OTHER INDETERMINATE COMMUNICATION TO LITERALLY EVERY EMOJI SO EVERY DAY WE CAN HAVE BIG BIG CONVERSATIONS WITH EACH OTHER IN SECRET THAT'S JUST FOR US IN OUR SPECIAL BEST BUDDY SECRET BEST FRIEND BFF LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We'll start here, though. Something simple.
What emoji?

[quickfingers]

hmmm.

what if a fire emoji means its going well
but like
snowflakes mean its bad. cold. dying. etc.

[shadowglitter]

GOT IT.
But I need you to set me some clear boundaries re: what I should do if things get bad.
My instinct will be to run in and sling you over my shoulder and take you out somewhere to drink away your sorrows and I know that maybe that's not what you want.

Actually
I'm actually friends with this giant robot and he's trying to make this alcohol called Nightmare Fuel? A single drop can melt the cores of weaker giant robots so like.
I think we could try that and your metabolism will get blitzed.

[quickfingers]

I text you snowflake you text me back an excuse that is logical and reasonable (You got arrested, you need bail, you hurt yourself, you lost your dog, etc.) and then we can go get drunk.

Nighmtare Fuel sounds terrifying. Regular Absinthe fucked me up though, I had it not too long ago. Rarely do I black out and honestly, I think I did?

[shadowglitter]

Peter Maximoff.
I would never joke about losing my dog.
But the rest is fine, that makes sense. I'll do that. I'll stay glued to my phone until you tell me to stand down.
I wish I could be a retainer to more than one person... maybe I'll ask Lord Magnus if he'll share the burden with you.

I've been drunk exactly once and it was at your party and I spent the whole time texting my friends about how everyone I knew was getting into relationships and it made me petty and miserable, it was pretty bad.
I think next time will be better. I wanna black out so bad.
I wanna wake up feeling fear.

[quickfingers]

you should get drunk with poe, then. more mile high opportunities for you bruh

[shadowglitter]

No, no.
Having successful interactions with another human being within a social context is hard for me enough at the best of times, let alone when it's the means to an end in which I get my dong touched.
Removing my inhibitions and making my personality even louder and more Odin-like is just gonna chase him away.

[quickfingers]

sometimes I really wonder if you'd benefit from a mild, relaxing high or if it'd just make you squirrely

[shadowglitter]

Oh, like, a drug thing? Uh. Uhh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh





I mean I'd try it if you were there to hold my hand in case I started trying to kill everyone.

[quickfingers]

Yeah, sometime I'll get you buzzed. What are friends for?