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alive y/n?

Yup! I'm alive. Sure am rolling in my mistakes though! Things I did while drunk: - asked out an 18ft robot alien (he said no) - screamed at Archie about how I'm going to be alone forever - erotic friendfiction of my priest friend - danced with a cute girl (this was not a mistake but I want to brag about it) - maybe interrupted you to scream about kissing and emotions? It was a good party. Wait, wait. It was a GOOD GOOD PARTY

i'm told the more mistakes you made, the better the party was.
- his loss. he's probably gassy anyway. (get it?)
- what'd archie say?
- is erotic friendfiction what it sounds like? actually, don't answer this. you have a priest friend?
- cool brag. here's mine: i danced with a cute girl too. i kept stepping on her dress though. this isn't as cool of a brag.
- no comment.

i'm glad you had fun and aren't too hungover.

- It's my loss!! His blood is fire and we've seen each other's dongs and everything. Ugh, I wish I had fire for blood. (Sorry for talking about dongs.) - A bunch of nice stuff about how I'm a good person and shouldn't have to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled or whatever. But wait, wait! I'm dropping this bulletpoint system and bypassing the erotic friendfiction talk so we can skip right over my boring night and talk about your cute girl and the dress you stepped on instead. Can I have your permission to say that bro, this whole thing you've got going on is wicked sweet and hella levels of mega-nice? You looked so happy last night. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to dive on you and hug you every time I saw you looking at her.

i didn't realise robots had dongs? i thought you did have fire for blood.

i want to hear about the cute girl you danced with if that's ok.

thank you for not diving on me. it's ok to admit i looked like a dork. alex does.

Oh, right. I do. I do have fire for blood, if I've said that before and have just forgotten about it. Old Odin Phoenixfire Bloodveins, they call me. Well, not bloodveins, that's stupid. They call me... Phoenixfire... Vein... dazzle. Veindazzle. Veindazzler. Artery... ignition. Oh, duh, they call me glitterveins! Haha, idiot, it's right there. Anyway. She was cute and pretty and I don't think I caught her name. We waltzed at the end of the night and she was really nice and I'm going to marry her. Probably. Don't tell anyone. She listened to me when I talked and just smiled all the way through it and I wanna tell her I love her and that we're going to have like a dozen children together. I'm gonna be a dad, Magnus. AND YOU'RE WELCOME. You're welcome you cute stupid dork!!!! Tell me LITERALLY EVERYTHING* ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP**. *everything (that you're comfortable with) **(if you want to, it's okay if you don't***) ***(a contraction which means "do not")

veindazzler is creepy and cool and i love it. glitterveins is kind of giving me anxiety because my friend noah glitter bombed me with his body and i'm still finding it when i brush my teeth.

dude that sounds like cinderella? are you gonna try to find her?

i don't mind talking about it with you but i don't know what kind of stuff i should talk about? alex is my first girlfriend.

Everything I say is creepy and cool and lovable, so I understand. What's glitter bombing?

[ DON'T ANSWER DON'T ANSWER BAD INFORMATION FOR ODIN TO HAVE BAD BAD DON'T ANSWER BAD ]

Yeah! I mean, no. We both know I'm just going to lay in bed and imagine what it would be like if I had the cojones to track her down, but. Nah. I'm going to-- OH, RIPTIDE CAN TURN INTO A HUMAN AND THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT. I'm going to think about her a lot. She was really nice. I don't know. A girl like that is probably taken, anyway. SIGH. Ugh, you're so sweet. I don't know what you should say, though. That's not something I can really advise you on. If it were me, I'd be waxing poetic about how she's the sun to your moon, or else I would vibrantly describe the smell of her hair or the song in her voice. I don't think that's really what you're into, though. Are you happy? I guess that's all I really want to know. You seemed happy, but I'd like to hear it.

[a video is sent in response. with this, Magnus has become a supervillain. his MoM lite-bright tattoo will soon change and the government will come to kick his ass or whatever happens when you do something unforgivably villainous. for now: enjoy this bad quality youtube vid my brother]

screw that. you got the cojones to show your dong to a robot, you can ask around about a girl. it wasn't that big of a party. peter probably knows her.

i've literally never been this happy in my life. or like afterlife, i guess.

[...]

alex is perfect and i can't believe she asked me out. it seems sort of surreal even though it's been four weeks already. we've been going on a lot of hiking dates and she learned how to make falafel for me which is my favourite food and i'm definitely in love with her and have been since i first saw her?

it's all just, a lot. i gave her some cute squirrel mittens this morning and i hope she likes them.

[OK... THAT'S... WAXING POETIC, FOR HIM, even if it's delivered like an awkward, excited monologue of facts]

Edited 2017-10-21 09:53 (UTC)

It sounds like you really care about her, man. I know I utilize hyperbole and exaggeration and, um, general artistic license a little too often for my words to carry much weight, but: I think you two are going to have an amazing relationship. You've been talking to me about Alex since the first day we met, when I was just a sniffly mess losing my shit over Jack and being ported in and who knows what else. For as long as I've known you, (which, admittedly, hasn't been too long, but it feels like it's been forever,) she's been an important person to you. It warms my heart to know just how happy she makes you, and, well. I bet she feels just as lucky and happy and overwhelmed as you do. Also: Squirrel mittens? YOU COULDN'T HAVE GIVEN HER A CUTER GIFT UNLESS YOU CROSS-BRED A BUNNY WITH A MARSHMALLOW AND SMOTHERED IT IN UNICORN CUDDLES. UGH. Also...

Thank you for this information... Magnus Chase.

[ oh no. the glitter saga begins. wrong choice, magnus ]

isn't this just you being really nice about how i can't actually shut up about my girlfriend? embarrassing.

i dunno if the mittens are gonna be ok though, there's an asshole squirrel back home it might remind her of. she hasn't texted me about it. i should have wrapped it better. i put it in some newspaper? it's not like there's gift wrap out in the woods.

use it well, Odin Dark.

Ugh, of course not! How can you say that?! I care about you so so much. And you're so so happy. And that makes me happy, too! This might be the happiest I've been since coming in, honestly. I love when the people I care about are doing well, and I love you SO MUCH and you're doing SO WELL. So!!! Talk to me about her all the time! Whenever you want! Knowing you're smiling makes ME smile. If you're worried about it, you can talk to her, but honestly - You gave her a gift that came from the heart. You wrapped it up and tried to make it look pretty with the resources you had. Like... dude, she's getting a gift from her boyfriend. That alone is going to make her feel loved and appreciated. You've done good! Don't worry so much.

now you definitely sound like a big brother. (i think, i never had a brother.) maybe we can double date if you find that girl again.

ok. i'll try to chill about it. thanks, odin.

by the way we're gonna be moving soon? once alex figures out how to charm some stuff and we ask our friends to help with building a magic treehouse.

Yeah? Good! I was serious about all that, regardless of a particularly violent case of the non-sobrieties. I hope you're okay with me thinking of you like that. I'm giving you a lot of titles. Lord. Li'l bro. Who knows what's next. But yes, we'll double date and it'll be a competition and I will win and be the better dater I will give you just the biggest noogie. BIG BROTHER TACTICS NUMBER 2: ULTIMATE LEVEL 10 HAIR-RUFFLING. GET READY. Oh, cool! If you need any help with magic stuff, I'm good at that. Charms are my specialty, actually. I dunno if she'd need any advice, but if she does... I'm here. I can help with the building side of it, too! The leader of the Nohrian army back home lived in a treehouse, so I know my way around 'em pretty well, structurally-speaking. But also, A magic treehouse will be a lot more fun to crash when I'm lonely than a tent ever was, so that's equal parts fun and exciting. CAN'T WAIT.

sober response: yeah i'm ok with it, i think. and you're underestimating your double date opponent. not me, alex. she plays everything to win.

wait seriously? can you contact her about that? the charm stuff. i'm no help, it's not a Frey thing to do magic that way.

also the leader of an army living in a treehouse sounds cool as hel.

[gently realises Odin used the word "crash," identifying HE KNOWS HE'S CRASHING, AND YET,]

Oh, right. Shit! I don't play anything to win. I just play to pose and look cool. I've already lost! But yeah, I'll contact her. Uh, if she's okay with it. Like, I'm glad you're dating and all, but she does kind of scare the shit out of me (alex colours), so maybe ask her first if she doesn't mind getting help from a dude who almost definitely annoys her? The last thing I wanna do is step on any toes. And yeah, Corrin was the best. They're one of my friends who can turn into a dragon, sort of. Not a big dragon, a little one. More of a goat? A goat with water everywhere.

can you really lose when you did such cool poses, though?

our toes are fine. just text her, dude. i promise she's

[no, that's a lie he was about to do]

also nice in addition to being scary.

[that's better]

she'll also turn into a dragon-goat if you ask.

I mean, that's why I pose all the time. It's why my life is so fun and exciting and cool. Well, that and my personality and the choices I make and the relationships I have and the feelings I feel. God. Magnus? I'm so good. Just in general. Just by default! When I think of Odin, I think of someone who is good. Odin? More like, oh daaaaaaamn. Sorry. Yes. I will contact your nice but scary girlfriend. I'll even do it quietly, without any theatrics, so as to not RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAISE THE IIIIIIIRE OF HER BLACK HEART AND FORCE HER HAND TO SLAAAAAAAAAAAY THIS PITIFUL MORTAL SOUL WHERE HE STAAAAAANDS. Not that her heart is black. Or that I think she has it in her to kill a person. [ ~~lol~~. ] That was dramatic effect. I'm bullying your girlfriend a little. Sorry. She's just very, very cool. I think she could probably shove me in a locker if she wanted to and I'd just say thanks.

[oh boy. He doesn't even know Alex's bodycount at this point, because keeping track of numbers that high was hard without a graphing calculator. Let's just gently ignore that]

i'm glad you're feeling good feelings about yourself.

i'm sort of with you on the locker thing and we're dating, so. it's fine. just try to keep focused.

ic contact

text, day after halloween party

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he's so close to picking his nose

unholy demon pose! MUZZLE EXCAVATION X!!!!!!

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