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Ah - yeah. Hold on.

[ He opens the window for Poe, despite the fact that it is so broken he could have just stepped right in without even the slightest amount of difficulty. Once Poe's safely inside, Odin goes to get them their drinks, which, uh. Well, it's just a beer for Poe, 'cause he knows most people drink beer, but he's totally just sipping from a kid-sized box of chocolate milk and finds nothing wrong with this. ]

There was, uh - I don't know. There was this... house. I don't know if you were there. It -- it sucked. I don't know. I'm just stuck thinking about some really bad shit I saw and some really bad shit I did and it's just been a really bad night 'cause I can't get to sleep because of it. Y'know.

We don't have to talk about that, though. I get that it isn't, like. Mood appropriate? Just, you know. I could use a friend. And, I mean, obviously, that Primo Poe Butt. But a friend, too. If you're okay with that.

[He takes the beer, but doesn't really drink it, just holding it like an afterthought as he watches Odin. At the mention of the house, his eyes slide away to the side, his brow furrowing. Another one. How many of his friends had been in there? How many people had he failed to save?

But he manages to push the thought away forcefully, and focus on Odin's face. When he finishes, he catches Odin's eyes and holds them.]

Odin, I am always your friend. Before everything else. If I'd known you were there too--

[He faltered, but didn't break eye contact.]

I would have checked up on you a lot sooner. And probably not- as a booty call just to distract me from the same damn shit.

[ Ah, man. Odin looks heartbroken when Poe says "too". Poe is too kind, too bright, to have been in a place as dark and cruel as that. ]

Oh, is that what this is? That's why you came over? Man. I should've guessed. I still don't know how hook ups work, haha. [ he pauses. ] Sorry. I'm being a really bad distraction. "Hey, Odin, can you come over and be a cool distraction from this thing I'm thinking about?" "Sure, but let's think about that thing you're thinking about for a solid eighty thousand years, first." Good plan, Odin, you idiot.

[ he folds his arms over his chest, bitter, breaking eye contact with Poe to stare off to the side. this sucks. ]

I'm doing okay, comparatively to some other people I've spoken to. I'm just tired. I don't - I don't really care about what I saw, so much, even though, yeah, that's getting to me, too, but - there, um. There was someone with me, and I let him die. I know he thinks I abandoned him, or that I failed to protect him, even though I promised I would, and I think - I think we're kind of done? As friends. He's already checked in on me to make sure I'm okay, and he got me a fucking amazing present, and I'm still talking to him like we're friends, but it feels - different. And it's my fault. I hurt someone I care about who was relying on me to save them, and I think that's just how he sees me now. All I've ever wanted to be is someone who could protect people, make things better for them, help them, and - I don't know. I screwed up.

[ he takes an aggressive, miserable sip of his chocolate milk. ]

How are you doing with it? You can lean on me, if you need to. I don't want this friendship to be a one-way thing.

Pretty sure that ninety nine percent of the time, when someone is calling to hook up, it's not because they just came out of a house made of literal nightmares. [It's sarcastic, mostly because that's just how he deals with things sometimes. But the sarcasm fades quickly as he listens. He purses his lips and frowns, looking down into his beer bottle without touching it.]

You didn't screw up, Odin. If what happened was anything like what happened with us-- [He faltered, trying to find the correct words.] There was no right thing to do. No matter what anyone did, everything went wrong. You can't blame yourself for not being able to save them. [Says the hypocrite. Says the massive, massive hypocrite - so much so that he almost winces at his own hypocrisy. Almost. He raised his eyes again to look at Odin.]

You can make it up to them. You can, Odin, it just - might take a while. But it's not your fault, okay?

[At the question, he looks away.]

...I'm - not doing so great. That place really messed with my head.

[ Odin scratches the back of his neck. He's used to people flinging sarcasm at him, but it's typically because they think he's dumb or not worth taking seriously, and even though he knows that's not what Poe's doing, he still stumbles a little bit, too vulnerable right now to shut down his insecurity before it hits him. It doesn't last, though, and the feeling is completely out of his mind before Poe's even halfway finished. ]

Whether it's my fault or not - [ which means he totally thinks it is - ] I'm actually not that worried about it? I thought I would be more screwed up by what I saw, because so much of it was directed at me, but I'm just...

I'm a soldier, you know? I can get over things, or at least compartmentalize them. I don't know if this guy can. I'm scared that I've ruined him and I can't do anything about it. I don't know. [ bleh. feelings. he does feel better, though, at Poe telling him that he can make it right, with time. If there's one good thing about Odin, it's that he's persistent. He'll make this okay again. More importantly, though, it looks like Poe needs someone more than Odin does, and Odin, tentatively, walks closer to him and wraps him in a brief but firm hug. When he lets go, he keeps his hand on Poe's arm, meeting his eyes again. ]

Do you wanna talk about what happened in there? We don't have to. I know how hard this kind of thing can be to open up about. But-- I'm here, man. I'm not gonna tell anyone. Whatever you say just stays in this room with me.

Even soldiers need help sometimes. [He said it with the solemnity of both truth, and a truth he obviously never actually took into account for himself. For his squad? Yeah. Damn right he's going to make sure they get the help and support they need. For himself? Smile and laugh through every psych exam.

Otherwise who would be able to make sure his squad was okay?]

So maybe - in a while - you could both help each other, too.

[At the question, though, he breathes out a long sigh, and takes a drink of the beer just to delay having to answer.]

... Yeah, I don't know. I've been through worse. Maybe haven't - literally died that many times - but for the most part - random dangers and spikes and fire and disco rooms - that all made fine sense. It was -

[A pause.]

Did you ever get to a room that... that gave you a weirdly good vision?

I just-- don't need help as much as everyone else does.

[ It's the truth, in a way, but he's also deflecting. Odin's actually a lot like Poe - smiling and laughing through everything to make sure everyone else is okay is just one of Odin's many gigs, and he could relate to that, if he knew they dealt with things the same way. But... part of trying to be the sun so nobody else has to burn that brightly means admitting to your own suffering can be - difficult, and Odin pushes past this part of the conversation to avoid it.

He breathes out, pretty fuckin' sad at Poe treating his deaths as no big deal, but it's not like he doesn't get that, either. He runs his fingers through his hair and takes a step back, crossing over to the beer he'd brought up for Poe and swapping out his milk for a bottle instead. Manly man drinking time. ]

No, I didn't have a room like that. I had-- [ he hesitates. ]-- I had a room where we saw our guilt, and the horrible things I'd done back home, but no, nothing good. What, um - what "good vision" did you see?

Force, I had that room, too. [Though his was mostly just filled with ghosts. He doesn't expand on it, and doesn't ask Odin about his. When he's asked about the other room he sighs and rubs a hand through his hair.]

It- okay, this is going to sound weird, and I can't explain it very well. But I saw a - a girl, a kid. Six years old. My kid. I've never had one, don't exactly have - it's not really an option right now - but that room-

[He frowned, starting down into his beer.]

Somehow it - convinced me that she's real. I have - I swear I can remember everything about her. Six years worth.

[ Odin's not going to ask about Poe's, no. He does feel a little comforted that he wasn't alone in dealing with that, but he tags a swig from his beer and just feels shitty that, again, someone he cares about had to suffer the way he did.

He's kind of shocked at the admission of a daughter, though, and for the first time since coming to America, he's kind of thrown for a loop? He's not sure what to say, or what to feel about that, and he has to struggle to pull his thoughts together before he knows what he wants to say. ]

So, um - I have about four explanations as to what that might mean? But I'm just guessing and I don't know if you want to... think... about her... or whether she's real or why she could be real or why she might not be or-- or something. [ he nervously takes another gulp of his beer. ]

Six years is a long time, though...

Hey, any theories you have, I'm willing to hear, because so far all I've got is a psychopath tried to fuck with my head and succeeded.

[He sipped his beer.]

... And I.. I don't know. I don't really want to stop thinking about her. I don't really want to forget her. Even if she's not real, she - she definitely felt like she was. And forgetting her feels like I would just be killing her again.

Well, that's theory number one. Everything I saw in there felt, um. Very real. [ he pauses. ] My parents are gone. They were killed by the undead. There were undead in that house that looked like them and I watched them kill my friend. Like I said, I'm a soldier, and I've had enough time to compartmentalize that by now to realize it was just-- [ his voice goes weaker-- ] it was just something to mess with me. But I don't-- I'm just saying, even if it feels real, there's a possibility it's like that because he knew she would feel real, and that's why he--

[ Odin cuts himself short, shaking his head. "It's all in your head, the psychopath did it" is one theory he had, yeah, but it's not the focus he wants here. ]

Nevermind, just - okay. Let's work off the theory that she's real, okay? It's possible that something happened with your memory to make you forget about her, either here or at home. Maybe someone... screwed with your head after coming here, like the narrator did in the house. Maybe an import made you forget her? [ he pauses. ] Or maybe you have amnesia back home, so - so you didn't remember her here, until you were given a reminder. Right?

Alternatively, um - timelines? I know some people here who are from different timelines in the same world. Someone comes from a time where X happened, but someone else comes from a time where Y happened, instead. Hell, timelines were a thing back in my homeland, they're kind of pains in the ass. Maybe - maybe you come from a timeline where she doesn't exist, but you saw a glimpse into a world where she does.

... Uh, and my last theory-- [ he scratches the back of his head, unsure how to suggest this one, but if it's something that clicks, maybe it would be crueler not to say it. ]

Maybe she's... gone. Maybe it was-- um, trauma. A self-inflicted thing. Sometimes people will away memories, if they-- hurt. If she died, maybe you-- tried to forget.

[Poe grew visibly more pale as Odin continued. Something clenched in his chest and wouldn't let go, right and painful. Six months ago, he would have laughed it off, easily. But Earth - Earth had been messing with him. He could barely find it in himself to reply so just said, very quietly,]

I'm not sure which of those options is worse.

It might-- [ Odin taps his fingers on his beer. He was hoping if he was right about any of those there'd be... recognition, or something, or-- ]

It might just be a trick like you thought. I don't know of any imPorts here that can mess with someone's memories, and-- and the nanites heal physical injuries when you're ported in, so I'm sure amnesia might be... fixed, or-- or... or something. Maybe not, but--

Look, if she's real, I'll help you find her. I'll help you find out why you forgot her. I'll ask around about the house, until then, and see if anyone else remembered something that real. I don't think much else can be done.

[Poe turned his head to look at Odin - really look at him - and then he reached out with one arm to drag him close into a sideways hug, pressing their foreheads together.]

You're a good man, Odin. And a good friend. Thanks.

[ Odin laughs, a little, openly moved by the contact but a little unwilling to say so - "i really like spending time with you" seems like a pretty inappropriate thing to say, given the seriousness of the conversation they've been having.

Probably not as inappropriate as the heat that crawls up his spine or the dryness in his mouth that comes from being this close to Poe, though, and when he pulls back a little, he's visibly a bit more nervous. Or, well. Distracted. ]

You're, um. Also. Good.

[ he chugs half his beer real quick, coughing a little and wiping his nose on the back of his hand. sheesh. ]

[Poe smiles fondly at him and then pats his back when he coughs to make sure he doesn't choke. He chalks up the nerves to the conversation, rather than the contact, and so doesn't bother to break the touch, leaving his hand on Odin's back.]

Well I've gone and made this evening dour. Next I'll start telling you about how my mom died and then it'll go really downhill.

Hey, I started it. I talked about my mom dying, too, so I've got you beat all over. When it comes to ruining an evening, nobody is quite as skilled and talented as Odin Dark.

[ he sips his beer, buying time for the heat to fall from his face and the nerves to stop playing in his head. he has to breathe out a couple of times for his heart to calm down and his stomach to stop freaking out. ]

You can still stay over, if you want. Even if we don't-- I mean. We could, but I just mean-- we could. Like. Hang? For the night. Until morning.

[The sheer amount of fondness is obvious, it warms his smile and crinkles his eyes. He shifts until his back is resting against the wall, the holds out his arms to invite Odin into them.]

Come here, relax.

[ Relaxing is good. It's a bit of a drain, emotionally speaking, to not only relive the experiences he had in that house, but to push them aside for someone else, even if that was his own choice - he crawls up the bed to lay next to Poe and immediately rests his head on his shoulders, just kinda grabbing Poe's arms and wrapping them around him like he's a mannequin to manipulate. he slides his arms around Poe's waist in return and just kinda side-hugs him as tight as he can. ]

Thanks. Sorry. You're the best. I wish I could do more for you. I don't like thinking of you being, like, worried or unhappy or whatever.

[He pulls Odin in tight, tilting his head to rest it on Odin's, arms wrapping around him.]

Don't worry too much about me, bud. I'm mostly okay. The rest I'll bounce back from. I always do. [He pressed a kiss into Odin's hair, squeezing him a little, perfectly at ease with the physical affection, and indeed seems to be relaxing a bit himself.]

[ Odin hugs Poe just a little bit tighter, burying his face into his shoulder and feeling warm all over. He... likes this feeling. He's never been cuddled like this before, honestly, but he's not going to say that. ]

I've never been cuddled like this before.

[ fuck. he struggles to keep talking so Poe doesn't focus on that. ]

I'm here for you if you don't bounce back as easily as you might want to. We're buddies. I'm here to make you feel good.

Then you've been missing out. [And he cuddles him again to prove it!! He gives him another kiss on top of his head and then chuckles lowly.]

Thanks, Odin. Though I want you to know how hard it was not to follow that up with a come on about feeling good.

Yeah... I think so. [ odin shrugs. ] I don't think people think I can sit still long enough to be cuddled.

[ he chuckles, though, breathy and low against poe's neck. ]

That's okay. I totally meant it as one, on some level. My hands are so close to all your good parts. I can't help it.

[With Odin pressed against his chest, it's probably not difficult to heart the way his heart sort of stutters at that - as if he'd only vaguely been considering it, and now his body is definitely considering it even before his mind can get there. He hummed lowly, as if thinking about it. Maybe because he was thinking about it.

And he was thinking that it would make for a really, really nice distraction. Probably inappropriate, given what they had just been talking about, and how heavy it had been, but somehow that - just made him want it more. A physical comfort to match the verbal one.]

... You don't have to help it. [He finally says, his pulse running a little quicker, murmuring it into Odin's hair.]

If you don't want to.

[ It's Poe's heartbeat that helps Odin decide to take this a little further, because knowing Poe wants this - wants him - makes Odin feel like a fucking king. He gets it, too, the need for physical comfort, and that's what chases away the biting thought at the back of his mind that this is too much, too quickly.

He angles his lips so they're closer to the crook of Poe's neck, and he plants a trail of kisses down it towards his collarbone, gently biting down as he goes. He moves to be on his side and locks one of his legs around Poe's, his hands sneaking down to Poe's belt and slowly unbuckling it. ]

Tell me if you want to stop. At any time.

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