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[shadowglitter]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I only drink Chocolate Milk. THE DARKEST OF MILKS! art credit code credit

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[shadowglitter]

Okay. Well.

Okay.
If I ever meet him, just, like, tell me if I say anything dumb.
Like if I start asking weird questions about how his body works if it's made of dust. Like I could derail the conversation by talking about poop or dicks or something really easily. I'm doing that now? I'm typing this and looking at what I'm writing like, "Odin, you've talked about dicks enough in this conversation, just let it go" but I'm still typing and I'm still about to press enter and I'm watching my pinky finger hover above the enter key and here it goes. I'm pressing it.

[fehus]

i'm not censoring you? and he doesn't mind talking about dicks or poop or whatever. he's a teenaged farmer.

pretend he was just meeting peter. what advice would you give me about that happening?

[shadowglitter]

Probably "don't make eye contact, he can smell fear".

[fehus]

hmm m

[shadowglitter]

Realistically I'd probably start going on and on and on about how much I love him and about how happy he makes me. And I'd start panicking all like, "don't screw this up! he has to like you! if he doesn't like you, i'll literally die!".
And then I'd... probably cry. And. Then Peter would realize I'm overly emotional and he'd leave me, I guess? But then he'd realize he loves me too much to ever be away from me and it would be like that third act of a four act romance anime where everything sucks but it's just a last ditch effort to introduce conflict to a story that lacks any.
And then we'd ... kiss and ... this is why I need another journal for my fanfiction. Ugh.

I guess realistically I'd say that he's a good dude and he'll be happy just to meet someone new? And that nobody should get in over their head when talking to him because he's great and chill and happy and he's not going to start a scene if someone asks him about how he shits accidentally.
But IDK.

Peter's a dork, Ronan's a goth. These are two very different animals. I would know. I'm gother than anyone.

[fehus]

heading this off: ronan shits normal.

2 goths and 2 dorks seems like it'd be fine to me?

[shadowglitter]

I wasn't actually going to ask him about that but I can't deny there's some degree of me that feels as if a mystery's been solved.

I guess.
Ugh.
Auuahauhauh.
Okay, well. It'll happen. One day.
I guess.

[fehus]

what are you being shy for now? it doesn't have to be five months in the future.

[shadowglitter]

I guess this is just the first time I've been in this position since I first started feeling like I don't have to try so hard around other people?
It's not like I go to job interviews or have any of Peter's family to meet. This is one of very few possible situations in which I'll have to be on my best behaviour to impress somebody who I think is kind of important.

[fehus]

i don't want your best behaviour? i'm not embarrassed of your regular behaviour. and you don't need to impress anybody. he won't be trying to impress. he's too cool and edgy to do stuff like that.

[shadowglitter]

It's important to me that everything goes okay, though. I'll try to chill, but.
Man.

Man, you would date an edgelord.

[fehus]

i get it. help me plan something chill and you don't have to stress about it. it'll all be knowns.

you're the edgelord peter's dating, shut up.

[shadowglitter]

You could dress up like a burglar and break into his house? Then I can come along and tackle you and be like "stop right there, thief!" and he'll think I'm a hero. Maybe.

[fehus]

he doesn't care about stuff. he's a spoiled rich boy that doesn't get the value of money.

[fehus]

he'd probably be like "take it i'm busy planting potatoes. lol"

[shadowglitter]

OK, well now I just kind of low-key feel like you're fucking your reflection. Your rich reflection.

You could kick up all his potatoes and I could stop you? Wait, you garden boys would break up over something like that.

[fehus]

wwe're not doing that?

tho it's true we'd never fuck with eachother's potatoes.

[shadowglitter]

I know, but I was trying to be dramatic! I put impact behind each and every single word that absconds the confines of my mouth!!! My words are nimble vagabonds fleeing my mind like tomb-raiding adventurers escaping into the jungle of our conversation with piles of cursed gold under each arm!

Maybe we could just go see a movie or something.

[fehus]

you're really inconsistent with your safe sex messages.

how do you get to be the hero there? maybe peter can be a plant. like somebody who won't turn off their cell phone or keeps loudly asking "who's that?" every time a new character appears.

[shadowglitter]

No, if Peter's involved, I'm just going to start competing about whose relationship is better. Or I'll just ignore you guys to go make out with him. That's not cohesive to any of this.

I could just message him and say hi.
I mean, I won't, but I could.

[fehus]

thank you for recognising that.

do it? i dare you.

[shadowglitter]

IDEA 2.0:

I COULD SEND HIM SOMETHING
UNMARKED AND UNNAMED SO HE WON'T KNOW IT'S FROM ME
JUST LEAVE IT ON HIS DOORSTEP
AND HE'LL MESSAGE YOU LIKE, SHIT, I GOT AN AMAZING PRESENT IN THIS BOX WRAPPED UP IN BROWN PAPER BUT IDK WHO IT'S FROM,
AND YOU CAN BE LIKE,

huh... (smokes weed)... that sounds like the sort of power move i could expect from... odin dark. you're lucky... that he's noticed you... ronan... love of my life... my dream come true... dust off your shoulders... my sweet darling... my darling boy... congratulations...

[fehus]

why are you writing me like i've had several intense strokes?

[shadowglitter]

You're feeling stunned and dazed because you're talking to the hot dude that likes you. You're emotionally sentimental over all your feelings for him. You're stunned by how amazing it is that you get to talk to him about me, Odin Dark, best person of all people. The weight of all your positive feelings is over-encumbering.
And.
The weeds.

[fehus]

i don't smoke the weeds? 2/5 for this characterisation, you've written me way better in your fanfiction.

what's in the unmarked box?