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[shadowglitter]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I only drink Chocolate Milk. THE DARKEST OF MILKS! art credit code credit

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[shadowglitter]

I'M COMING OVER

[quickfingers]

NOBODY WILL ANSWER THE DOOR
DONT BOTHER

[shadowglitter]

LIKE I'M EVEN GOING TO TRY THE DOOR??

[quickfingers]

THE BLINDS IN MY ROOM ARE SHUT
DONT BOTHER

[shadowglitter]

oh no how am i going to break a glass window when the blinds are shut

YOU GOT ME GOOD

[quickfingers]

DON'T BREAK MY WINDOW MY DAD'LL GET MAD
ALSO DON'T BOTHER BC the only thing im cuddling rn is a can of pringles

[shadowglitter]

I could take your dad.

Is that your pet name for her?
Because she's addictive and... salty? Crunchy.

[quickfingers]

I'd pay to see that but not enough to replace my goddamn window.

Also no. She'd be something cooler than chips. I hate how the internet made cinnamon rolls a fucking meme, or I'd say that. She's hot like spicy Doritos, maybe.

[quickfingers]

[ . . . ]

[shadowglitter]

[ . . . . . ]

[shadowglitter]

So on the sliding scale between hot and cute - she's at a pretty even mix?
Spicy doritos on one hand, playing with her hair on the other.

[quickfingers]

[not pictured: peter's defeated sigh]

yeah pretty much

[shadowglitter]

And you wanna snuggle her when it's cold out.
Hmm.

Okay.
I'll stop asking about her, I swear.
Apropos of nothing, do you like cats or dogs?

[quickfingers]

I don't trust you
why are you asking

[shadowglitter]

I am closer to you than any other man here and yet you're treating me like this.
Unbelievable.

[quickfingers]

dogs

[shadowglitter]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
INTERESTING

[quickfingers]

I wanted to avoid some weak pussy themed joke that I feared you'd make tbh.

What are you up to? is it worth asking?

[shadowglitter]

No, no, nothing like that.
Having now had actual sex for adult grown men, I'm above such petty jokes.
Were I to comment on her body, I would have instead found a way to make a charming joke about her breasts.

I was just psychoanalyzing you based on your arbitrary tastes and discerning the kind of dynamic you have in your relationship with the hot and cute girl you love.
I'm happy with what I've determined.

[quickfingers]

... what have you "determined"?

[shadowglitter]

PETER!!!!! I HAD ADULT HUMAN MALE SEX. ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WITH A "GOOD JOB" AND I'LL CONTINUE THESE PROCEEDS

[quickfingers]

wait you had sex?
or was it the flying handie?

[shadowglitter]

No, that's old news. I did it like, the big way. I put it in a butt and everything.
I don't know why I only tell you this kind of stuff but.
I guess it's kind of why we met in the first place. Magnus trying to get you to get me laid.
What a world.

Anyway,
I think if you like dogs you want someone active in your relationship, but also someone who can be kind of open about their feelings for you.
But then again
You wanted to get stepped on by bathroom girl, and that's way more of a cat lover thing.
Hm.

[quickfingers]

congrats dude, you did a sex. I owe you a high five.

did the impress page have any influence whatsoever and or was this with Poe? alsi i'm gonna ignore your cat/ dog analyzing because this is clearly more important.

[shadowglitter]

These things are not mutually exclusive.
I never would have had the confidence within me to plunge deep those briny depths (ew) if I hadn't had your imPress account to give me encouragement (as a diver, I guess?).
I wish I didn't make metaphors before I thought them through.
Just once I'd like to think before I speak.
But.
Yeah, that dude.
I wanna spend more time with him. I wonder what he's doing right now.

Incidentally, I'm also totally a dog person.
I'm gonna steal your girl.