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[shadowglitter]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I only drink Chocolate Milk. THE DARKEST OF MILKS! art credit code credit

Comments

[quickfingers]

[henr g h m arriage t al k]

Sweetie sounds condescending tho? i like it for those contexts. gee sweetie, what a great job you did today? you total moron! i love you and your inability to do things correctly!!!

you're stuck w / being babe to me. idk what else to call you. but if you ever call me silvernugget in bed i'm not gonna be mad but i can't promise i won't laugh

[shadowglitter]

A L M O S T

F F F F F F F F OO O O OO OO OO O OO R R R RO RO RO ROR R T T Y YT YTY Y Y Y YYY Y Y Y Y Y Y Y YY

[quickfingers]

im throwing your things on the fire escape

[shadowglitter]

Don't break a hip?

[quickfingers]

im throwing your things off of the fire escape

[shadowglitter]

Don't break both hips.

[quickfingers]

d o n T c o Me H O me

[shadowglitter]

DON'T BREAK BOTH HIPS AND THEN SET OFF A DOMINO-ESQUE CHAIN OF REACTION AMONGST ALL THE OTHER RESIDENTS OF YOUR NURSING HOME WHICH ULTIMATELY ENDS IN A THOUSAND BROKEN HIPS EACH BELONGING TO SOME OTHER GERIATRIC PATIENT EQUALLY AS OLD AS YOU

[quickfingers]

yeA WELL.

IF I'M OLD AND BROKEN HIPPED, YOU'RE A GERONTOPHILE YOU SICK OLD PERSON LUSTING AFTER COUGAR CUB KINDA KID. YOU INTO DENTURES? YOU CAN'T *WAIT* UNTIL I GET SOME, HUH? IS THIS WHY YOU LIKE ME// MY gREY HAIR? USING ME TO PLAY SOme FARCE OF A ROManCE WITH THE ELDERLY

fOR SHAME ODIN DARK

fOR SHAME!!

[shadowglitter]

You know the word gerontophile?

[shadowglitter]

Sweetie does sound condescending. Debra used to call me sweetie. I used to call her a draconic lizard-witch who hoards a clutch of broken dreams and poor life choices with all the frantic shame of a teenage Peter Maximoff stashing pictures of boobs under his bed, but. Sweetie was still worse.

I don't mind what you call me.
I just want to find something that you really, really love. I don't know.
Names are important to me.

[quickfingers]

i never hid my porn under my bed. that's the first place moms look. always use an air vent? just fyi.

and srsly tho you can call me whatever. we'll figure it out, 'cause i'm pretty sure we can make "dumbass" sound affectionate with the right tone of voice.

like this:

hey odin. i love you, you stupid dumbass. <3

[shadowglitter]

That can't be right? I hid my porn under my bed in camp back when I was with the Shepherds. I'm sure my mom never...

[ ... ]

oh no

[quickfingers]

she knew, friend
she knew

[shadowglitter]

oh no










oh no

[quickfingers]

what kinda porn was it anyway
visual, literary? kinky?

[shadowglitter]

You're just going to make fun of me if we go down this road. I'm already reeling from all the burns.

[quickfingers]

let's play hot and cold. i guess, you tell me if i'm close

[shadowglitter]

Fuck. I've been pulled into this hellish conversation by your wily tricks, you rowdy piece of shit. You know I love games.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's go.

[shadowglitter]

But also, you're totally right about the affection thing.
I like it when you call me dumbass. I don't know if that says something about me or if it just speaks to the health and validity of our relationship?
Maybe both.

[quickfingers]

mmmm. it's like a throwback to the foundation of this strange, eclectic relationship. when we slap fought in space and you gave me best friend hickeys less out of love and more out of rage? ah, fond memories.

[shadowglitter]

I still kinda give you hickeys out of rage.
It's just, like.
An angry desperation to make you pop a boner.
My dream is to make you split apart the heavens (your jeans) with the dynamic force of your secret weapon (average-sized erection).

[quickfingers]

thank you for not calling it a shortsword again

[shadowglitter]

That was literally the best compliment I've ever given you.

[quickfingers]

i should be discouraging the hickey making tho like dude
finally
my neck was almost
almost
healed